Foremost on my Mind: Please, Mr. Postman

The very first full-time job I ever had, once I got my teaching degree, was that of a letter-carrier—also known as mailman or postman. I'm good with any of them, even with the Canadian-esque term “postie.”

So you need to know that I have a soft spot for Canada Post, for many reasons: as a former employee, as a father of a present employee, and as a consumer of some of its services.

Even though I left the job almost three decades ago, I do have a few good memories. As I recall, I found that there are a lot of pluses with being a mailman: free exercise, fresh air, angry people and loud dogs that love to greet you—but their bark is worse than their bite. And that went for the dogs, too.

If done right, I was usually home sometime just after 1:00 PM every day. The striking fact is that I was paid till 3:00 PM, for work I did not do—not good economic sense.

There is no question that I was in better “shape” back then: I didn't have the bowling pin figure that I do now, and the only cardiovascular issue I had was trying to spell the word. Back then, I could huff and puff and blow any house down; now, I just huff and puff.

The current dilemma of Canada Post is they are considering shutting down door-to-door delivery across Canada very shortly. They are in such desperate shape to save money, they're going after door-to-door delivery.

I suggest that they may just simply delay the cutbacks, or tighten hours of delivery: They should pay for work done, rather than pay for work not done. And don't forget that you read it here first.

There is no doubt that Canada Post is in serious financial trouble, and has been for several years. Most crown corporations are. That's why government and business don't mix well. I'm not an economics major, but I do know that good money after bad is a recipe for financial chaos.

Any organization with limited accountability, militant unions, government support, and diminishing need, is an organization destined for trouble. And on that basis, Canada Post is in trouble—serious trouble. Less snail mail and more email doesn't help, either.

Where does one start, when it comes to pointing out areas they need to work on? I could speculate, insinuate, and tabulate, but I would be spouting off—and I do that enough already.

The most obvious area would be the mailmen themselves, because, well, that's what's under discussion. I am thinking, in particular, of the paid hours in which they don't work. I have alluded to that problem already, and I doubt if things have changed. To cut out all door-to- delivery seems mighty drastic, especially when a tweak here and there would do.

That's like cutting off one's hand when there's only a sliver in the finger: No, skip the amputation and just deal with the finger.

Mailmen, in my humble opinion, should be paid for the hours they work. They have so many hours in any given day to deliver the goods. It is well-calculated and doable. If they want to rush through their route, no problem; if they want to get home, or, as was the case with many of my colleagues, get to that other job, no problem. But if they want to get paid for not, ahem, delivering the goods, that's a problem.

They should only get paid for the hours they work—no more, no less. (Maurice, six hours work means six hours pay—not eight hours pay.) That's how any sound business operation works.

If you calculate the money Canada Post lost on only one individual on a daily basis, on the above formula, then multiplied that by every postie in the depot, times the number of posties on that same day in every Post Office throughout Canada, you would have staggering figure to work with. Then multiply that by every day every postie has worked throughout their lifetime, and you will quickly grasp where they could save some money.

That's no economic trickle--that's a flood.

I don't know if Canada Post has thought of plugging its leak or not. They sure haven't attempted to contact me for more ideas. If they want to, they can contact me at work—and I'm always there long after 3:00 PM.

Foremost on my Mind: Resolutions for the Rich and Famous

This is the first column of 2014, so I want to personally welcome you to the New Year. I don't know if I have the power to do that, but I do have a keyboard and a platform, so here it flies. In light of last week's glorious column, I hope you are still working on some personal goals (known only at this time of year as “resolutions”) that you have set for yourselves.

Good for you, and may you have success in losing those pounds, wrinkles, clutter, and anger.

Because of the generosity of my spirit, I thought I would make even more New Year's resolutions, but this time, I will do it for others. You see, I am assuming that some of the following name-brand people have made their own, but, hey, they may be too busy—you know, too consumed with their own egotistical pursuits—that they haven't the time to consider any genuine personal improvements.

A number of celebrities come to mind, so space may be a problem. The following characters have stood out in recent months, and all but one in a bad way. We'll see just where my fingers take me.

So, in no particular order, here goes the good will gesture by yours truly:

1. For Rob Ford, mayor of Toronto, I wish the following: A very good weight-loss programme, a sense of integrity, and a brand-new job. He has shamed himself, the honour of his office, the city of Toronto, and the rest of Canada. The last one gives me an opening through which to speak.

I remember the day when most professionals and politicians carried themselves with a certain degree of class. They were people we could look up to—not look out for. Rob Ford has failed this litmus test at every level, repeatedly. Furthermore, whether any of the criminal whispers are true, I cannot say. That, of course, is yet another reason why he must go.

2. For any specific females (can't say “women” or “ladies”) that go by the name of Beyoncè, Brittany, Kim, or Miley, I wish the following: I wish they would get dressed properly when they go out in public. And in Miley's case, if she could keep her tongue in her mouth, that would be great.

Now, before you fall off the couch, thinking that I am actively pursuing their bawdy careers, breathe in slowly. Stay on the couch while I reassure you that I am not. It's just that when I look at the news on my computer, their images pop up all the time, no matter what my news source is. It's both disturbing and disgusting.

I often feel sullied and scandalized after viewing the news, because these women are front and behind (pun mercilessly intended) with their latest photo ops --or would that be “oops”? I don't ask for it, I don't need it, and I don't want it, but it's flaunted before my eyes anyway. Their lewd antics, known by so many fans and offended observers, are unhealthy, unwise, and unreal.

3. For Dennis Rodman, I wish the following: Could someone tell him to please sit down, shut up, and stay out of North Korea? They don't need any more morons over there. North Korea remains one of the most severely repressive states in all the global communities, and it is an enemy of democratic freedom, true religion, free speech, and economic reform. To kowtow with Prince Pudgyface is a shame and a disgrace to all rational people everywhere.

If Dennis wants to do any good whatsoever, tell him to talk to President Him So Fat about the horrific prison conditions for the people that simply want democratic freedom, true religion, free speech, and economic reform. Under the present arrangement, Rodman is a moral and babbling buffoon.

Rodman himself, a former marginal professional basketball player, has a track record of very strange behaviour, both on the court and off.. Everyone is entitled to strange behaviour, I suppose, but there is no place for making it a national norm. If he chooses a certain lifestyle, or if he wants to tattoo himself to the point he looks like a mural, that's his privilege. But for him to represent the USA in any way is unconscionable.

4. And for Phil Robertson, I wish the following: Keep speaking up. Phil, of the Duck Dynasty fame, expressed his opinion on same-sex relationships recently. You know the story, so I won't bore you with further details. It's irrelevant whether I agree with him or even how he did it.

Because of the senseless and heartless agenda of the same-sex proponents, this becomes news. It's just another critical flashpoint in the war of morality—fodder for another column, unless Stalin is back in power before then. My point is that Robertson has the same right to express his opinion as the other guys do. May there be more like him.

Like, say, what happens here once in a while in your local column in southern Alberta,.

Foremost on my Mind: A Brand-new Year

One of the embedded traditions of the Christmas season, just after the turkey(s) at the table and Christmas spirit(s), is that of New Year's resolutions. You know, those promises to lose weight, spend less money on stupid toys, be nice to the jerks in your life, and smile more.

Coming from a sincere (and maybe even desperate) motive, most well-intentioned New Year's Resolutions last for usually for a week--two weeks at the most. It's at that point that everything crashes, including one's self-esteem—and we tend to cover up our guilt by, you guessed it, gaining weight, spending more, and actually being meaner to the very people we wanted to be nice to. And crying behind our smiles.

Not quite sure where this practice came from, but in the main, it's a good one. I'm talking about the promises to be be better, not the crashing and burning. Striving for realistic excellence in relationships, money, and lifestyle, is good, not bad.

Read that again: It involves the quest for “excellence,” something that is missing in most disciplines these days; and it likewise needs a heavy dose of “realism.” Highfalutin aspirations are impressive-sounding, but are dangerous emotional landmines. To carry that metaphor further, dashing recklessly through a field of unseen and unknown bombs may appear to be noble, but it can be a disaster.

One must be careful not to promise the moon, but end up only delivering moonbeams.

I have my own New Year's resolutions. But because this is a public newspaper column and not a private diary, my comments must be somewhat muted, discreet, and vague. Don't like those rules, as such, but they are rules of something once known as common sensibility and sensitivity, and that I like.

On a slightly different note, that's why I hate reality television shows and newspaper tabloids: They exhibit petty, personal, and private affairs (pun mercilessly intended) that have no business being in the public arena. You might say what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom.

So my spin on New Year's resolutions is simple: “Promises I mean to keep” could (and should?) also be made by the guy next door, the woman down the street, and, well, you (and me, too). If you don't agree with me, then either I have read the culture wrong and we're in much better shape than I think, or we're all fooling ourselves.

At this point, if I got it wrong, I think it's for the latter reason.

Losing weight and saving money are, of course, the standard resolutions. But I would rank them third and fourth. Character and relationships would be number one and two, respectively, in my opinion. (Notice how I soften my perspective with those helpful words “in my opinion”?)

Character is what you are when no one is looking; reputation is what you are when they are looking. Character is what you are when the lights are out; reputation is what you are when the lights are on. Character is an inner reality that expresses itself outwardly when it has a chance to; reputation has no inward basis.

What I need to do—and you do too, if you're alive—is to work on what (and who) we really are, namely, our character. For example, don't appear to not lie; just simply love the truth. Don't simply avoid smut and vice; just love virtue. Pursuing the positive will not allow much room for the negative. Is it that simple? Hardly. But it's a great start, a new beginning—a new year, if you will.

Good character then easily leads to healthy relationships. If I am transparent, honest, selfless, and such (all character traits), then these will impact my dealing with others. Good character, a personal quest, will always foster good relationships, an inter-personal goal.

My transparency, honesty, and selflessness are no-brainers when it comes to dealing with spouse, children, neighbours, and colleagues. Happier homes, better neighbourhoods, and productive workplaces would then follow. This is good, not bad; this is uplifting, not degrading.

Men and women of integrity matter; robust relationships at every level matter. Realistic excellence is the primary goal that I have set for myself, and I would like you to join me. Target an area in your soul where there is a need for some improvement, set a manageable goal to change it, chip away at it—then look for some rewarding results!

One place you'll see it is in your renewed relationships. Then it truly will be a brand-new year for one and all.