Christmas Gifts

I find it really hard to cruise the malls these days without buying every single gift that calls my name. I am a sucker for all the slick packaging, glossy paper, and gift boxes. Fortunately, I am as poor as a GM executive – okay, I don't have my own Learjet – and I also have a wife who keeps me accountable.

So if you were hoping for a little gift from me this year, dream on.

The one "gift" I suppose I have is that of humourous writing (at least I hear that), so I will pass out a few goodies as we slink towards the big day. If I leave you off my list, don't take it personally. You may even want to take it as a backhanded compliment: For the most part, I am doling gifts out to those who seem to really need them, this year especially.

Mats Sundin. May you enjoy your stint in Vancouver. After years and years of futility in Toronto, I think anywhere - including Atlanta – would be a welcome relief. I know it was a struggle to accept the five million dollars for playing hockey for half a year, but I am sure you can get by on that. Myself, I'd play forty games for a paltry one million dollars, even if it was in Calgary. Go, Canucks, go.

Barack Obama. May you have good experience as early as possible in your presidency. And then may it long continue. After all, you are entering the leadership of arguably the greatest nation on earth, now at one of its lowest points in its existence. And last time I checked, you have absolutely no experience in running a country. It is quite a leap from a senator of one state to the ruler of fifty states, to say nothing of your worldwide impact. If you have any doubt about running the country, consult the media: they think they have all the answers.

Stephen Harper. May you keep your head in the days to come. In fact, stay the course: I like how you responded to the vultures and power-grabbers. True to form, one of the leaders has already bailed out. Here's hoping Gilles Ducepption follows suit. Anyways, Mr. Harper, you did Western Canada proud and we really need a common sense, level-headed leader in these turbulent times. (I suppose you might say he is the only wise man from the East...)

Readers of this column. May you face 2009 with wisdom and courage. Much of the coming year could be caught up with belt-tightening, saying 'no' a few more times, and re-aligning your financial priorities. A little advice here: Talk to your parents or some old-timers in your circle of friends, those that have gone through tough times and survived to talk about it. (Actually, this advice also applies to those who don't read this column.)

More readers of this column. May you feel free to disagree with the style and the content of this column. The editor and publisher have graciously allowed me this opportunity to write on a weekly basis (now in my third year), sometimes funny and sarcastic, sometimes sober and insightful. Whereas, at least when I rant and rave, I have the courage and integrity to sign my name. I assume some of you think I am "off my rocker" with some of the values that I express, and that's okay. Isn't great to live in a country that allows a measure of freedom of speech!

My family. May you enjoy all the changes that are happening all around us – kids graduating, kids getting married, and kids moving on, plus water and appliance and vehicle problems. And don't forget: Four years ago this very night we came home to the smoldering ruins of our wonderful country house. Somehow, through the grace of God and the kindness of our friends here in the County of Forty-Mile, we have made it so far.

To quote Tiny Tim: May God bless us, everyone. And to quote me: Have a Merry Christmas.