Something on my Mind): When I'm 64 (2)

You'll recall the little boy at the parade who was alarmed that the emperor had no clothes on. He pointed that out, but was quickly hushed up. He did hush up, but the fact remained that His Honour, Emperor Whats-his-face, still had no clothes on, no matter how many people didn't want to deal with it.

The fable should have been called, "The Emperor's No Clothes." And popular fantasy notwithstanding, the fact remained that the emperor still had no clothes on, no matter what people thought (or didn't think). Today, we need less sentiment, and more facts—agree?

The lesson I draw from that fable is that many seem to see life through rose-coloured glasses, seeing things in as positive a light as possible. That's political-correctness run amuck and it's coming home to roost.

In other words, there is no point in sugar-coating some of the harsh realities of scary trends.

While it is honourable to see good in as much as possible, it can mislead people into thinking that everything is okay when everything is not okay and getting worse. Let me expand on it.

Believe it or not, I am not as morbid as I sound, but I do take a conservative view of life. My conclusions have remained quite consistent for years. And now that I'm 64, they seem to be getting more conservative. As I mentioned last week. I see a severe deterioration of our society on a local level, imploding from within—socially, financially, sexually, morally, spiritually, and intellectually.

In other words, I see our greater problem is that we are falling apart internally, not internationally.

When I consider the deteriorating state of society these days, and what, in the main, was a very different condition even a generation ago, I can't help but be concerned. I have a rough idea of how things were trending in the '50s, '60s, and '70s. I'm aware of wars within our nation(s) along with the wars overseas. I am also aware of the drug abuse, the sex scandals, and the breakdown of law and order, even thirty years ago. I get it, and I'm not trying to whitewash it.

My point is, it's getting worse. Just check your local mall or nightly news broadcast.

We've gone from basing decisions on absolutes to floundering due to relativism, with disastrous results. And again, it can't help but get worse. You see, the "emperor" of public, popular opinion has no clothes on, and we need to be aware that. No sense sugarcoating it.

As you know, marriage and family life is the bedrock of any healthy society, and has been for thousands of years. That's a broad-based statement, but I stand by it. Secular observers have made it very clear that there is a direct connection between the breakdown of the family and petty crime, promiscuity, vandalism, drinking and drug use and much more.

And this comes from people involved directly in counselling and law enforcement business, with no conservative principles necessarily motivating them (like me).

You see, when there is no in-home accountability, no immediate repercussions, no consistent and loving discipline, the family breakdown will invariably lead to all sorts of problems.

As it was back them, hushing and censoring doesn't solve any problems. Pointing them out and dealing with them is a good place to start. While I am not forcing anyone to agree with my future-

gazing, I believe I have a case.

I just suggest that it's time more people spoke out and made sure the "emperor" was dressed.

Something on my Mind: When I'm 64 (1)

I'm not sure if (Sir) Paul McCartney was thinking of me when he penned the words to the song "When I'm Sixty-four" many decades ago. Probably not. While most of it does not apply to me at this point of life, it does in one area: I will be sixty-four soon (which means 65 next year...oh boy).

I just thought it was a quippy way to start an otherwise tentative column on the subject of birthdays, life and death, and the future, as well as the state of the Vancouver Canucks.

Well, actually the column has nothing to do with the Canucks, but, hey, I'm 64 and when you're my age, you can get away with saying things that don't make sense—teeth in or teeth out.

Where were we? And while I'm at it, where are my teeth, my glasses, the remote...?

So, at sixty-four now, I am once again in one of those musing moods (Maurice, that would be "reflective"). I park there a lot these days, as I find myself often asking the same question, namely, "Where are we heading?"

"We" is a pronoun, as you all know (or at least should know), and , it takes the place of a noun or noun phrase. In this case, "we" refers to our present society, and the people who make it up. That would be people like me, you, and that guy over there smirking on his smart phone.

Without trying to sound any more morose than necessary, I am sitting at this stage of life, wondering where we are heading as a culture. To be true, there are some good trends, but some very nasty ones, too.

I love history (unvarnished, untouched, and unbiased) and I am aware that, say, in the last 200 years, there have been many bad things that have happened on a global scale. I suggest things have been worse over the past few decades than they are now; they may seem worse today, but that is due in part to the "advances" of social media.

And there have been some phenomenal advances in forms of agriculture, health, education, sciences and technology, for starters, though I could advance the argument there are some very scary trends in those same disciplines.

Myself, I will likely make it through the next thirty years relatively unscathed--emotionally, spiritually and financially--so it's not really me that I am concerned about. It's about my kids and grandchildren, and your kids and grandchildren.

You're asking, "I there is so much improvement, why the doom and gloom?" Great question! It would take a book, or at least a series of essays, to fully answer that question.

There are other, subtle trends that show no slowing down; in fact, they appear to be increasing in their evil ramifications a yearly basis. Re-stated: some things may be getting better and merely holding their own, fair enough; but it's the others that have me concerned. There are many, but I think I can synthesize them into three broad categories, which should embrace the rest.

The three trends are as follows: homeland violence, edgy arts, and diminishing freedoms.

When I speak of the first trend, namely, homeland violence, I am referring to things that take place here on our soil, not on a global basis. I am referring specifically to road rage, home invasions, racial assaults (both ways), left vs. right rallies, carjackings, gunplay in a public setting, knockout games, rural crime and random attacks, I would even place abortion and euthanasia in here. With the growing lack of respect for human life anymore, this is inevitable.

Edgy arts (via movies and music) is another alarming trend: One, there is little care on both sides of the stage or screen, whether one is producing or performing, or taking it in; and two, most celebrities in question could care less what sort of role model or what are the ramifications of his/her performance. Again, it has always been smutty; it's just now worse, and we're paying the price at every level.

Finally, diminishing freedoms is likely the most subtle of all three. For example, there's talk of freedom of speech, until we speak with an "unacceptable" conservative view. They say we have freedom of choice and then curtail most freedoms--even freedom to disagree.

If Sir Paul were to write his ditty again, with 2018 in mind, I wonder what it would look like? Probably a little more uptight than upbeat.

Someth8ing on my Mind: Reunion (2)

A few more reflections from last time's column:

Reunions are a little bittersweet, as you know, and ours was no exception. Over the course of the time, we picked up news of the usual tensions, namely, family dynamics, health issues, and of course, the state of the patriarch and matriarch of the family.

In the latter case, only the patriarch was present. The matriarch was around yet not around, if you get my drift: Alzheimer's does that every time. It is very painful, to put it mildly, to see a family member who has been so active and productive reduced to that vacant look, in a near-vegetative state, especially to the point where she doesn't even know her daughters anymore.

That's yet another reason why we should be having these reunions more frequently: We never know who's next or what shape we'll be in.

My wife's family is spread across Canada: two sisters in Terrace, us here, one in Victoria and the fifth just east of Windsor, Ontario.

The next generation is even spread out farther, located in the following places: Terrace, Kelowna, Kamloops, Langley, Victoria, Milk River, Airdrie, Edmonton, parts of Ontario, and Halifax.

Beyond kids and grandkids, cousins and their spouses, and as well as an aunt came from quite a distance as well: Nimpo Lake, West Kelowna, Duncan, Fort McMurray and Morinville,

It's funny how scattered we can all be. It's rare these days that a family unit stays together in one place long. Marriage, schooling, employment or simply the urge to move away, factor into this diversity of new locations.

We just celebrated a family reunion, but there are other types, too. And many are held for the same motivation. The next most popular one is a high school reunion; with a community or employment reunion another form. This is often in relation to a small town that existed years ago, for only a few years, before the town's sole employer shut the industry down.

The same questions persist, no matter which reunion we're talking about, namely, family dynamics, health issues, and the whole aging thing. And what is generally spoken in hushed tones is the fact that some are missing, having passed away.

But back to our reunion: Even the trip over to Terrace was meaningful. And long, very long. We took two separate routes, there and back, although the Jasper to Terrace route both ways was unavoidable for those of us coming from Alberta.

As some of you may know, I spent forty-eight years in BC, but Alberta is now my adopted home. Present political climate aside, it has been a positive move, and I don't feel any urge to reside in BC. Visit, yes; live, no. Reunion, yes; residency, no.

So the memories of the good times will linger on. We had the previous reunion four years ago, and I sense the families involved don't want to wait for another four years.

I'm trying to think of a word picture here, and I think I have it: an onion. Consider a raw onion: As you continue to peel back and down, and get down to the core, there are a lot of tears by the time you're finished.

That's probably a perfect metaphor for a family reunion, namely, a peeled onion—good for you, raw feelings, peeling back the surface issues, and lots of tears. Maybe we should give this event another name: Re-onion anyone?

Something on my Mind: Reunion (1)

Summer, for many, can be the time for longer days and slower paces, heat and holidays, trips and travels, and family reunions. It can also be weeks of hopeless tedium (for the kids), added stress (for the parents, especially moms), and family reunions.

So, guess what today's topic is going to be?

So far, my summer has been marked by almost all of the above, at least on the positive side of the ledger, and just recently, I was able to take those living at home to join my wife's relatives for a family reunion.

As usual, it was held in Terrace, BC, the town between the two "princes" (Prince Rupert and Prince George), at the west end of Highway 16 in British Columbia. Terrace is also west of Houston, not to be confused with Houston, Texas.

If a writing of this were a classic tale, I will have called it "The Prince and the Pauper": By the time we shelled out all the bucks for food, gas, motel rooms, and cabin rentals, you might say we were the pauper and Rupert and George were the princes.

I should add quickly, by the way, that it was worth every penny.

On the way over and back, we saw a grizzly bear, lots of black bears (one with three cubs), a moose, and some bighorn sheep, and some tourists from Texas. Travellers tip: If you see a bunch of cars parked along the side of the road, it's either a mega bathroom break or they have stopped to stare at one of the above—well, maybe not the tourists from Texas.

Part of the reason for any reunion is it's good to keep in touch in person; social media, with its electronic tentacles wrapped around us so much these days, doesn't quite cut it, compared to face-to-face connections. This happened repeatedly on the shore of Lakelse Lake.

My wife is the eldest of five sisters and all but one of them made it She was tied up finishing her teaching year in Victoria and was unavailable. The attendees included the respective husbands and kids. It was "Cousins-R-Us" everywhere.

This reunion was a little different because most the kids now are young adults--and working young adults, at that. They had to fight to get a few days off. The only actual little kids this time were my grandchildren, all seven of them.

Reunions are all about renewing relationships and making memories. We checked off both boxes on this one. There were canoe treks, hikes, volleyball games, a car rally, and lots of food. And what's a family get together without the ubiquitous Frisbee?

My wife was able to secure six cabins right on the lake, so many of us out of town relatives had their own place. It was an invigorating experience to wake up early every morning at the sight of the lake, the sound of the loon, and the sizzle of the bacon, though some of you may not be able to place "invigorating" and "early morning" in the same sentence.

(Actually the bacon came later, but I liked that line's alliteration.)

The other novelty was the way my wife organized brunch (the mid-morning meal for those who had early morning issues. Certain families hosted members from other families, giving everyone an opportunity to hang out with some they may not usually visit with at length. Each day was a little different, with a balanced rotation of who was hosting and who was guesting.

We hosted twice and guested (not a real word, Maurice) once.

Reunions have many purposes, as I have alluded to already, but I suggest anything that

strengthens family relationships is great. As the building blocks for a successful society (read: families) continue to implode, reunions help stem that trend. Pictures on the fridge, emails in the database, and Christmas cards in December, are good and helpful, but nothing beats a leisurely supper by the lake shore.

Not that it's about eating, but families that eat together have a greater chance of staying together,

I think the mosquitoes also had a family reunion at the same time and place, though I have a thing about uninvited guests.

That was the only mosquito, er, fly on the ointment of an otherwise great time in Terrace.