Celebrating Maturely

What in the world do Montreal Canadiens' fans, graduation celebrations, and my son's thirteenth birthday ever have in common? If you guessed the letter "a" or "e," you're close. If you think along the lines of moments of coming of age, you're really close. (I'd say you're hot, but I suppose that meaning is too dated.)

The answer (drum roll, please) is that they are cultural excuses for idiocy, buffoonery, and stupidity.

I say that in light of what happened in Montreal last week when Les Habitants took the Boston Teddy Bears out in seven games. It was a magnificent Canadian (Canadiens?) moment, that is, the last-standing Canadian team lined up for a further shot at Lord Stanley's cup, while the Bruins lined up for their first tee shot.

The actual issue was not the team: It was the wannabe fans, morons who hooted, tooted, and looted all night long. It was also the city officials, morons who apparently thought that this behaviour was expected, accepted, and essentially encouraged. After all, they said, this is a time for celebration.

It harks back to Calgary's infamous "Red Mile," where all sorts of debauchery (read: lewdness, indulgence, and excess) took place after each significant step in Calgary's similar quest for the Stanley Cup. Somehow, the fringe element of urban twits took over that section of the city and did things to each other, officers of the law, and the businesses of law-abiding citizens that would make the Thai government proud.

Now we are faced with the annual rite of passage called grad season. I think it is a wonderful time in a young person's life and should be celebrated. Where I personally take exception is that there is a certain mode of behaviour that is likewise expected, accepted, and essentially encouraged. That's why I laud those parents who rise up to offer an alternative, something known as dry grad. It is a wise and safe option.

The argument for the former could be the same as that used for the "joy" in Montreal, namely, it is a time for celebration. It happens once in a lifetime, it is a major accomplishment, and it suggests a shift to a more mature, adult approach to life. At this point, I'm with them.

It's the excessive carousing, drinking, and shenanigans that gets me. Not everyone, of course, and not for days on end, either, but just enough to worry me.

Then, there is the rite of passage where a child morphs into a teenager overnight. Again, even with many of the above excesses aside, there are certain expectations – ah, there's the word – that we present to the child-cum-teenager, and allow them to stoop to them. Any student of history would see how shortsighted this low bar of expectation is. Someday I would like to catalogue the long list of what so-called teenagers (a fairly recent term) accomplished long before they turned twenty.

Now those ages are marked by ages for driving, voting, and drinking.

My alarm is that we have such low expectations of celebrants – fans, grads, and kids – that we are continuing to allow misbehaviour at every level, then turn around and call it something like "freedom of expression" or the "pursuit of happiness." Again, I agree with that notion, but not when things gets out of control at a very low level.

Memo to son, Kyle: Now that you're on your way to manhood, I expect you to start acting like a man. It's the right thing to do.