Foremost on my Mind: iPod Rules

One of life's greatest nuisances for me is the ubiquitous presence of iPods. Everywhere (another word for “ubiquitous”) I look, walk, and sit, it seems I see people of all stripes holding this little screen. They appear glued to it. To an alien, an iPod might even appear to be part of the earthlings anatomy--an extension of the human hand, if you will

It could also come across as an addiction, or at best, a very bad habit. “Don't leave home without it” once applied to credit cards. It could now apply to iPods. It has become so part and parcel of our culture that stick-in-the-mud geeks like me are perceived as relics of the radio days.

Which begs the question: Why can't they use a radio like old-timers like me?

They want communication and information? Get a radio. Read a newspaper. Surf the 'net. They want music? Get a radio. Buy an CD-player. Sing in the shower. Listen to someone else sing in the shower. They want to keep up with their friends and have on-the-spot news? Uh, don't get a radio.

There was a time when I had no time for ATMs, either. I felt strongly (and ignorantly) that all bank work should be done through a teller. That is, until someone took the time to show me how an ATM works and how much time I would save. Now that's all I use, unless I have a transaction that a machine can't perform--like melting down my gold fillings, making bricks out of them.

You're saying to yourself, What's the connection between an iPod and an ATM? You're wondering what meadow of the mind is this rabbit trail going to end up in this time? No rabbit trail here, people: The link is that at one time there was a new idea which I rejected until I tried it (as in ATM). Methinks I'm having the same struggle with iPods.

In other words, I'm being “ignorant” in the truest sense of that word.

I can see people wanting to keep in touch with their friends or having the latest news at their fingertips (literally). I see the point of listening to something pleasing, rather than listening to the buzz and zizz (a real word, people) of the masses around—be they parents, students, teachers, or shoppers. (Note: I said I see the point; I don't necessarily endorse it.)

Radios can serve the same purpose, of course, but they're not nearly so dangerous. Whether it's in the house or car, the output is the essentially the same, namely, music, news, talk shows, sports news and games. It can't get better than that, can it? Since when do we actually to see it to believe it?

If I were the Minister of Technology (aka Inspector Gadget), I would have a few ground rules for the ethical, moral, and practical use of iPods. Well, forget the ethical and moral nonsense; let's focus on the common sense approach to using iPods. Here are some rules that I would implement for you iPods-users:

One, no iPods at meal time. You can wash your hands, sit up straight, use a fork and knife properly, and say “please,” and “thank you,”--these activities should keep you thoroughly engaged, without resorting to feeding your cyber addiction. You may even want to talk (also known as converse, discuss, and interact) with others at your table.

Two, no iPods use if your legs are moving (another word for “walking”). I saw people walking along busy sidewalks in downtown Edmonton recently, completely oblivious to the world around them. I'm not clear that what they were seeing on the screen was all that urgent. Very dangerous, it seemed to me. If you're going to go that far, why not just put a bag over your head and close your eyes?

Three, no iPods in the classroom. I didn't say don't have them “on”; I said don't even have them “in.” Teachers may be boring, textbooks may be boring, classmates may be boring, but nevertheless, it remains the height (or would that be “depth”?) of inconsiderateness to be engaged in something outside the classroom, while inside the classroom.

And four, no iPods while driving. Yes, you are sitting; and yes, you are not snubbing your stupid sister at the table or Mr. Snootface at school, but there's this tiny little matter of distracted driving, other drivers, and the control of a 2,000 pound machine at stake.

By the way, I would have the same rules for a radio. The restrictions can't quite be the same as iPods demand the use of one's eyes (and ears, sometimes), whereas the radio only needs the use of one's ears.

It's surprising what you can see when your eyes are open wide.