This time of year is a rather expensive one for “yours truly” (Maurice, that would be me). The reason? My wife's birthday and Mother's Day show up on my doorstep only two weeks apart—clambering for attention, funds, and the right words.
That could be up to two gifts, two cards, plus at least two adjectives per card (Maurice, adjectives are words that describe a noun—the noun, in this case, would be my wife). The said adjectives would involve describing my life with her companionship. And you all may be relieved to know that I do not address my wife as my “cute or loving noun.”
Over the years I'm sure I've become less romantic, thoughtful, or gushy (all great adjectives, by the way) than I once was. I don't know if I am getting more frugal and efficient, or simply more insensitive and thoughtless, but when I remind her (verbally) that I said the same thing last year, which was the same thing I said the decade before, she doesn't take it all that well.
I don't blame her. I think if there was a law in place, I would be arrested for impersonating a warm, loving husband.
Part of the problem, of course, is that “hot” and “cool” and “sweet” meant one thing thirty years ago, something quite different now. Generally speaking, though, the words are still positives and can still be fairly appropriate.
Glad my girls are still thoughtful in these areas. They seem to have a grasp on what a woman wants and needs (two separate yet linked responses). Could the fact that they are older and mature play a role in this? Likely. And the fact that their mother herself is an older, more mature woman can't be disregarded either. In other words, they know what she wants and needs because, well, they're wired the same way.
I'm in the habit of sending birthday and anniversary greetings to other family members via email these days. Can't say that it would go over big down here on the farm, mind you. I usually send one to my next brother, then my other brother, and sometimes to yet another brother. I don't recall them sending email greetings back. Maybe they got lost in the, uh, mail.
I have my reasons for doing the above, and they all make sense to me. One, it's cheap; two, it's personal; and three, it's dependable. What I just said once applied to cards, too, but to a certain extent, sending cards in the mail has gone the way of a Calgary Flames Stanley Cup parade; that is, it may arrive, but likely not.
Back in the olden days (ie., when I had a full head of dark hair and a big bushy beard), cards were a welcome commodity. Because I sent more back then? No, because I delivered more back then. You see, I was a letter-carrier in Burnaby, BC, delivering reams of cards for every occasion. It seems to me that there aren't as many cards out there anymore.
And it seems especially true for Christmas cards. I think this year was the first year we got more electronic mail cards hard copy ones—or, if you want to be witty (and I do), more in the Inbox than in the mailbox. Even then, we got very few in any form. Commercial or homemade, I still like getting the ones you can feel. Mind you, cyber cards kind of add a new spin to the words “cut and paste” and “send,” don't they?
So now I have made a complete circle in my thinking, namely, the value of cards—or could it simply be the thought behind them? Cards are great to give and receive—and I meant that with all sincerity—but it's really the thought that counts. It does cut us frugal/efficient and insensitive/thoughtless types a little slack, though that doesn't excuse us for not giving a card in the first place.
Or at least thinking about it.
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