Every now and then, things hit me in a certain way, striking me as strange and intriguing. To the normal peon of the planet, this may not be an issue, but to some of us...
Come with me--figuratively, of course—to the bathrooms of many of our famous stores and restaurants. There is a sign by the door of so many, I've lost count. Today's column, then, is exploring the wonder of why employers must tell their employees to wash their hands.
This deserves a simple question: Why? Believe me, I think they should (and so do their mothers, for that matter)—and so should you, after using the, ahem, facilities—so my question is simply, Why do they have to be told to?
I tend to be a teensy-weensy jaded when it comes to these sorts of things, so I have a couple of reasons why staff is being reminded to do something they should be doing normally: One, the sign is there to impress the customer; and two, that particular business tends to hire staff who are short in the hygiene department. While I hope I'm wrong, I believe I'm right.
In the former reason, if the store needs to remind the staff to wash their hands, why not remind them to flush the toilet, to pick up after themselves, to brush their teeth, and...well, you get the picture. If they need to be reminded about basic life skills—and heavy on the if—why not post that notice in the staff bathroom, as opposed to the public one? Private matters should stay in private places.
The irony is not lost here: If you think I am dealing with a private matter in a public place (newspaper column), what do you think a private sign in a public restroom is?
While I firmly believe washing one's hands after you-know-what, I think the state of the kitchens of some our restaurants, and the type of food we're eating when we go there, is a far bigger issue. If I have access to staff memos regarding washing hands, shouldn't I have access to where the food is prepped and how the kitchen is maintained?
That's a natural segue (look that up in your Funk and Wagnalls) to the other possible reason why the sign is posted in the bathroom. Do you think I feel confidant that I am being served by a staff member who has such limited hygiene sense that he needs to be reminded to wash his hands? (It could also be a “she,” Maurice, but I generally don't read signs in ladies' bathrooms.)
Now, not to attempt to sound too intellectual (that could get me charged with impersonating a brainiac), but isn't the message that the employers are sending actually working against them? In other words, the employer may be trying to impress the public with their high standards for personal cleanliness, when, in fact, they are depressing the public with low standards of personal habits.
If I drop my money in a store where the staff has to be reminded to clean up after, well, you know what, I don't know if I want to shop there.
There's an mischievous side of me that wants to ask each clerk, each teller, each stock boy, “Have you washed your hands today?” That would go over well, wouldn't it? That's up there with asking each female clerk her age and weight, each male clerk about his IQ, each worker his or her marital status.
Reminding the customer that it is in the best interest of all concerned that he or she washes his or her hands makes sense to me. A lot of unnecessary diseases are transmitted through dirty hands. I just draw the line when it comes to staff notices in non-staff places.
I have a reasonable solution. Post a wash-your-hands sign in the public bathroom, but state the following: “Our staff maintains the highest personal hygiene possible.” That would make me feel better all around.
I might even shake their hand to congratulate them.
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