Foremost on my Mind: I Believe in Traditional Marriage

It's considered one of the hardest jobs in the world, yet with perhaps the greatest rewards—most of which outlive the “workers.” Very few really know what they are getting into until, well, they get into it. And when the going gets tough, the tough usually hang in there.

It's called “marriage,” and it has never been under more direct attack in the world's history than now. So when I speak of marriage, I speak of the traditional type—you know, one man and one woman married to each other for life. It's legally, culturally, historically, and morally correct.

It may not be politically correct to speak like this, but we all know the mess that that position has gotten us into.

I know there is the Hollywood myth (here I go again), and, like the forked tongue of the serpent (how's that for symbolism?) it points in two directions: In the first, we have parties, romance, sex, hunks and babes, but someone else takes out the garbage and does the dishes; and in the second, all tradition, protocol, and restraints are thrown out the proverbial window, with a different bed each night.

Needless to say, both models are seriously flawed, but both are being crammed down our collective throats on a daily basis. If you don't believe me, check out what your kids watch, read, and listen to.

The straight line between “I do” and “I'm done” is getting shorter every year. If the “c” in the “c-word” is cancer, then the “d” in the “d-word” is divorce. But “d” could also be for devastation, as in what it does to the children; or it could be despicable, as in the behaviour of both parties.

I have “worked” at being married for over thirty-two years. Lots of highs and lows, lots of steps forwards and backwards, lots of successes and failures. By God's grace (which is more than an expression—it's an experience), we are hanging in there.

In most marriages, sometimes there's fun; sometimes there's play. But in the main, it's work. But because of the facile approach many take to any task these days—and marriage, in this case--the moment the fun is gone or the play vanishes, the search party is on—usually for another toy to play with.

Couples that stay together, in the main, continue to benefit themselves, their families, their communities, and their countries. I don't know if you are interested in the studies that show evidence for the many advantages of being in a long-term monogamous relationship between a male and a female. Google it, please; just don't try to find it in any of the usual media outlets.

There is no shame in being a single parent; nor is there a stigma with just being single. Things happen, or they don't. The simple basis for today's column is that it is time someone stood up and spoke up for traditional marriage. Read into this column all you like, just don't insert an intention that doesn't exist.

Traditional marriage works well on many levels. Let me count the ways.

One, economics: Stats prove that married people can get ahead faster, pay their bills more consistently, and make wiser financial choices more than non-married people. But beyond stats, there's something called common sense. Remember that commodity? I think it left the culture with the Studebaker.

Buying power, based on staying power, is clearly influenced for good by traditional marriage. When there is a long-term commitment, even the nature of purchases is impacted. Shopping of every description (ie., big and little ticket items), investments, property maintenance, taxes, just for starters, work better through traditional marriage.

While you're at it, why don't you look at the following book: “The Case for Marriage: Why Married People are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially” (Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher).

Two, health: Health is affected by lifestyle. Lifestyle is comprised of good eating habits, sleeping habits, intimacy habits, and social habits. Can I stop here? I think I've made my point.

Healthy people are happier people; they feel better about themselves, and they don't drain the government coffers because of long-term care issues. Because they are in the safe company of someone who is deeply committed to them, making chances of recovery are higher. In the main, they are leading productive, positive lives. Is this a serious generalization? Probably, but I believe it's true.

Three, children: They function supremely better when they are part of a loving home, with parents who love each other and the children themselves. Because this column is not a medical, scientific, techie treatise, you need to believe me that there are, in fact, medical, scientific, techie papers out there that substantiate this claim.

And speaking of children, the only normal way children come into this world is through parents via one man and one woman. This is not a disparaging comment on adoption, foster care, or surrogate childbirth: Through the natural process of intimacy, a life is conceived, a human being develops, and a baby is born nine months later. Male and female—it's the way we're wired.

And fourth, history: If there is no traditional marriage today,there is no functioning society tomorrow. Yes, I will concede that non-traditional marriage could produce a world that looks a lot different (different, as in not pretty) than the one we're looking at today. For thousands of years, the family has been the bedrock of the every lasting culture—and this would be seriously jeopardized without marriage. Mess with the family structure and you mess with the future of the nation—something we're seeing unfurl right before our eyes.

Me? I'm more chunky than hunky, but I do take out the garbage and do the dishes—making everyone around me even happier.