Something on my Mind: Splashing through the Snow

There is no question in my mind that my happiest Christmas memories as a family man were years ago in BC's interior. I could break down the previous statement to emphasize that it was a specific stage in life, a specific season of the year and specific place in the West.

Right now, I'm busy listening to Andy Williams, Anne Murray, and Bing Crosby, among others, singing their Christmas carols, and if that doesn't put me into a Christmas mood, I don't know what else could. Maybe the big fat guy who hasn't shaved for weeks, wearing his boots inside the house, and drinking what we trust is Coke, might do it.

But myths just don't do it like the real thing, although you might say Coke is "the real thing."

So with the music wafting through the air, taking me back to yesteryear, I am in a pensive mood. This column is giving words to those reflections.

What does a "Christmas in the Cariboo"--specifically, 100 Mile House (scene of that horrific fire this past summer)-- look like? How does it qualify as the "real thing"? Well, simply put, it looks like a winter wonderland, with lots of trees and snow. And the mood in the community was always very Christmasy (a real word, Maurice).

That's "trees," as in those tall green things; and "snow," as in that fluffy white stuff. It would be nice that that Cariboo Christmas out here sometime.

Because we have always been away from family at Christmas, we try to include other families who are alone. I recall one Christmas when we had our neighbours over; the snow was so impassable, they came over in their snowshoes.

Sledding with the kids, building snowmen, and cross-country skiing were the norm there, though I passed on the skiing part. They even had the annual Cariboo Marathon, and probably still do.

Another memory is getting my own Christmas tree right off the land. Often it was right off the different acreages that I owned or rented. I thought it was fun, though it wasn't for the kids I took out with me into the bush.

I still get a live Christmas tree from an acreage, but it's now from someone else's land (aka tree farm in the Kootenays), and I buy it through an outlet that rhymes with Home Depot. There is something really nice about the fresh smell of a six-foot Scotch pine. But then again, there's nothing really nice about the shedding needles that mess up the floor. There's real joy in putting it up, but real relief in taking it down.

Christmas is for kids and lovers, a line I've used in this space before. And that was the part of the specific family life season I referred to in the first paragraph. Back in those days, we had just four kids (with five more added over the years), so our family wasn't all that big, but big enough and young enough to make Christmas really fun.

These days my wife and I are at the stage where we're scrambling to have some family home for Christmas, what with kids scattered right across the country—Halifax (2), Edmonton, Kamloops, Kelowna, Langley, and Milk River. At the point of writing, we'll have only two home for the Grand Day, although some are coming early in the New Year.

It's not all bad, though: More egg nog and white meat for the old man.

Christmas is a time for family, a comment I made last week. Every day should be about family, to be sure, but between the cards and carols, gifts and greetings, trees and traditions, Christmas is the most poignant time for the family to get together. It's the laughter and the memories, the down time, and change of schedule that makes it so special. There is no better time or place to chill in December.

If all goes according to Hoyle, this column should come out just after Christmas. I trust you had a good one, and garnered plenty of memories from the good times.

Please don't let anyone take away reason of the season, even if you're not overtly "religious." You have to wade through the cultural morass to get down to the bare facts of history: the magi (astrologer-kings) from the present-day Iraq region and the census from Augustus Caesar, for starters.

It did really happen and there really was a special birth. When history and theology mesh—and they usually do-- that is very good.

And as I said more or less to you last week, all the best to you and yours from me and mine.

Something on my my Mind: I'll be Home for Christmas...I Think

I thought I would take a brief break from the Ten Commandments, and work in a couple of seasonal columns. After all, who can resist the rich theme of the birth of Christ and the hope and motivation it gives a new year?

I don't look forward to Christmas like I once did, for a variety of reasons. Public admission of private matters is not kosher, in my books, And I'll leave it at that.

I will say, though, that I see and hear so many wonderful things at this time of year, and that makes me feel really hopeful. Despite the unbridled consumerism of the season, Christmas seems to give people a reason to go that extra mile of warm greetings, good will, and renewed relationships.

Kids can be extra nice at this time of year there, too, and if there's was a Santa around, I get a little wary of what's behind that pleasant behaviour.

Speaking of being nice at this time of year: I wouldn't go so far as to say nice things about any leftist provincial government—not even if there was a Santa in the room. I don't believe in either, so would that be a no-no, right? There's being nice, then there's being misleading, and I draw the line somewhere in between.

I googled the word "home" for this column (yes, I do that sometimes), and I was amazed to see how many links there are between "home" and "Christmas" in a range of Christmas songs. And that's only in the title. If I made the effort to scroll down to the lyrics, I know there would be even more "home" references.

Home and Christmas. What is so special about being home with your family at Christmas, especially if you live elsewhere? I don't really know, of course, because I live at home all the time. I did spend a year teaching school in El Salvador almost decades ago, and it was tough being away during this season. Spending Christmas under a banana tree in 35-degree weather doesn't quite cut it.

But beyond the weather anomaly, I was missing the parents and family, friends and relatives, as well as the snow, such as it is, in greater Vancouver, BC.

Christmas is far more than trees and tinsel, trimmings and turkey, and all the bells and baubles , associated with the season. There's a place for some of those things, I suppose, but I think we can all agree that Christmas boils down to family.

Believe me, I am fully aware of the historical and biblical basis for Christmas, and I buy into it big time. However, for the most part, we've lost most of our historical and biblical moorings, and so we're losing that perspective.

But in the main, Christmas is about family and re-connecting with them. Even as the notion of "family" is changing, yet there's still some connection.

However, I know a lot of families personally that have been fractured this past year, and for them it's going to be very tough Christmas. I think of marriages that have gone south, of a husband who was killed by a drunk driver, or of wayward kids who have gotten lost, as they searched for themselves.

As I write this, a friend of mine is languishing in an area hospital, dying of cancer. He may not even make it till Christmas, and that will be really hard for his his family. It's rough any time, but it always seems more so at this time of year.

Or maybe the family is still intact (ie., no death), but changes are coming: health, finances, employment, or even one's outlook. Life raises its clenched fist and may land a punch to the gut or a cuff to the head. Not only do things like that hurt, but often they blindside us.

Then beyond that, there's the unknown. At this time of year plans get shattered or turned on their head, and bit by bit, blow by blow, they've disappeared completely or have morphed into something else—a very ugly "else." It's hard to celebrate the season with so much uncertainty in the air.

So, in the meantime, Merry Christmas from our house to yours. Cherish your family one more time...hopefully not for one last time.

Something on my Mind: No Buyee? No Takee! (2)

Let me start off by listing two other possible motivations for stealing:

4. Boredom. We are raising a nation of bored, directionless children, with social media being one of greatest contributors to this problem. There is a rush (see #2) to taking something that isn't yours (so I hear), and it simply breaks up the daily tedium.

One antidote to this factor is to have a real life: a fulfilling job, meaningful relationships, and a touch of character and courage, works every time.

5. Anger. This sounds something like: "I couldn't help it, I was ticked off." This is the "blame game" rationale and it is so full of holes that it's hardly worth wasting even moments addressing it. In this case, the blame is based on family life (usually no father present), the colour or race card, or socio-economics factor. These are all real issues, no question, but they are never excuses to go out and rip someone off. Never.

Have you ever considered the cost (pun not really intended) of taking what is not yours? We referred to places where stealing can take place, but I will remind you what I said last week:

"There are job sites, supply yards. regular retail outlets, public places and institutions, and, of course, houses, where we call it breaking and entering." I must add that mugging people and robbing banks should be listed, too. Let throw the way our taxes are dealt with by the CRA, while I'm at it.

Things stolen must be replaced. Inventory that was purchased must now be purchased again. That likely leads to greater surveillance, more staffing to maintain that surveillance . Perhaps there has to be a re-working of how merchandise is presented.

And that all costs money, which will be passed along to the consumer. So, in other words, the thief may not pay, but you and I will.

There may be the shortsighted view that it's just one chocolate bar, or one light bulb, or one tie, but it's not. It's one item by one person in one store at one time. Multiply that by many items stolen by many people in many stores over many hours –all in one day—and you get the picture.

There are many ways that stealing takes place. It may be by shoplifters in some retail outlet. It may be fraudulent returns. It may be employees ripping off their employers.

Then there is gas and dash, where it may actually cost the clerks their lives, in trying to stop scumbags from gassing up without paying. And beyond the cost to the retailer, there is the cost to family life and the courts when these people are charged and put away. Stealing is a very expensive way of getting free things.

I did some googling on the cost of stealing. The dates are a little old, but that only suggests to me that the figures are higher today (as we're not getting better as society, you know).

They say that shoplifting costs retailers worldwide $112 billion (that with a "b," not an "m") on an annual basis. Even when employees rip off their bosses, it costs the employers anywhere from $20 billion to $40 billion (again, starting with a "b"), though I don't know if that's here in "enlightened" North America or worldwide.

There's more, but I trust you get the picture. The main thrust of this eighth commandment is the forbidding of taking something that is not yours.

Here are a couple of really simple principles to live by:

1. If it's not yours, don't take it. Plain and simple. If you want it and it's available, go through the proper channels, namely, pay for it, work for it, or earn it somehow. There are agencies that help people who just can't afford the basic necessities; ripping others off is not an option.

2. If someone else is stealing, deal with it. Dealing with it could involved being a "fink," one way or the other. I know that word is so '60ish, but it fits in right here. Maybe you do not have the physical or personal wherewithal to confront the thief, but there is a 9-1-1 phone call/text to the cops, the venue itself, or even a friend.

And yes, we would be much, much better off if we stopped stealing. It makes sense at every level.

Something on my Mind: No Buyee? No Takee!

I suppose this could be the start of a couple of Christmas newspaper columns in a roundabout way. I plan one or two Christmas-themed papers columns in a couple of weeks, as I take a break from my Ten Commandments series.

The token link between this "do not steal" commandment, so cleverly expressed in the title, and Christmas, is because Christmas is one of the busiest shopping frenzies of the year (next to Black Friday)—and one of the most fertile times of this vile practice of shoplifting.

I work a few hours a week in a thrift store, and even there, the epidemic of thievery is out of this world. It is beyond me how people can stoop to taking what is not theirs, especially in a retail outlet that already has rock bottom prices, to say nothing of a store that provides high quality wares for those who need a break. Another factor in these low prices is that the workers are volunteers.

It's the retail version of biting the hand that feeds you.

Thrift stores are not the only vulnerable venues for stealing. There are job sites, supply yards. regular retail outlets, public places and institutions, and, of course, houses, where it gets its own designation, namely, breaking and entering.

I am appalled, yet aware enough to recognize that stealing, whatever form it takes, is not on par with sexual assault, murder and any other form of violence. But stealing is stealing, and taking something that is not yours is wrong

That's W-R-O-N-G, as is selfish, ignorant, evil, and costly. We may play the "blame game" by attacking the rich retailer, or playing the "needy victim card" by blaming our family life, but taking what is not yours is still so very wrong.

We may even play the word game, and sugarcoat it by calling it pilfer, poach, filch, borrow. I like "five-finger discount," but I don\'t want to sound glib about it.

I once stole a candy bar from a local corner store when I was ten-years-old. My parents made short work of that, one of many blessings coming from a traditional family that embraced common sense, along with consistent, caring virtues that we sadly lack today. We really need to get back to having parents who are allowed to be, well, parents these days.

I have always wondered why people steal. I don't know directly, of course, so I can only surmise the following reasons:

1. Need. There is no legitimate reason to steal, but this could be the closest. However, clothes are so inexpensive these days in thrift stores, and soup kitchens and food banks are so plentiful, that "need" is not a really good reason. It's a sad reflection on our society that these safety nets are necessary and available, but it's helpful they are around.

There used be the other safety net (family) that took care of its members when the chips were down. But then someone stole the chips. Of course, with family life imploding, no longer an option anymore.

2. Thrill. I suppose there is some rush in getting something for nothing, daring the clerk to catch him, pleasing the gang that's watching. If the thief would take a second to think that one man's thrill is another man's ill--loss of inventory and sales, as well as security issues, for example—he might give it a second thought.

But then again, I can't use "think" and "thief" in the same sentence. Scheming and stealing are not hallmarks of a rational person, no matter how clever they appear to be. I would put "thief" and "ignorant" in the same sentence, though.

3. Dare. The daredevil approach seems courageous and heroic, though neither word comes to mind when I think of common thieves. A lot of dares are picked up because the ingrate is actually cowardly and spineless. There is no positive word to describe this type of person.

Peer pressure is a crummy motivation for doing something really stupid.

We'll finish the rest next week. In the meantime, if you take something, pay for it

Something on my Mind: No Hanky-Panky (2)

I cannot fathom how relevant these ten commandments are, even as we
finish off 2017. I trust I have conveyed how significantly appropriate
obedience to them makes for better individuals, homes, and, society.

And this seventh one, namely, "do not commit adultery," may be the most
important.

I have a pretty good idea why it is seventh on the list, but I don't
want to digress too much. Just think in terms in being right with God
(Commandment #1), then the rest fall into place. I know that's an
oversimplification, but that's the truth.

Unrestrained passion with someone who is not your (married) partner, in
or out of a marriage, is a dangerous habit. In Scripture, it is a
forbidden practice, but owing to the secular, godless culture we are
immersed in, my Bible argument doesn't have a lot of credibility.

You would find it an interesting study to see what stats there are on
the economic, emotional, social, sexual, physical, and mental impact
that affairs, pornography, peep shows, strip shows, and flings have on
society as a whole, which is made up of the workplace, homes, and yes,
even churches.

I don't have the stats at my fingertips, but the Internet is a wonderful
tool (usually) for that. You would be shocked to read of the massive
damage that serial infidelity and rampant unfaithfulness has on our
society today.

And I am not even using God, the church or the Bible to support my
argument.

What would happen if we all kept our hands to ourselves, our eyes for
our wife (or husband), and our money where it should be spent responsibly?

Saying that, it's almost as if I can hear a collective "whoopee" on the
part of every victim, every humiliated wife, every abandoned child, and
every legitimate social agency. Maybe even the courts and law would
shout out, too, while we're at it. They have to deal with the rampant
violence, senseless fraud, and utter depths of humanity, on a daily
basis, when it comes to the results of adultery. We mustn't forget the
danger that officers put themselves in when dealing with a domestic dispute.

No stable society remains stable for long with this chaos in the
bedroom. No society can endure for long when there are incessant
attacks on its moral foundation.

A generation ago girlie magazines came through the mail, shrouded in
paper bags. At least there was token discretion back then. Today,
however, all shame is off and there is access to everything through the
click of a button in the privacy of one's home. And no, by God's grace,
I do not speak from experience.

You're possibly wondering if I have wandered off from my "no
hanky-panky" commandment. No, not at all. You see there are many
"roads" leading to an unfaithful lifestyle. And when we sound the
alarm at what's available on supermarket shelves, on cable television
offers, or what can be downloaded on the Internet, we have solid grounds
for concern.

In other words, often times the actual act of adultery is the end result
of careless morals.

A more positive, uplifting angle is simple: Keep yourself pure for the
one you will be committed to for the rest of your life (or if you are
married, stay committed to her or him only). Keep yours eyes, hands,
and mind under control. Don't allow yourself to come under the bondage
of unbridled pornography. (And I did say "bondage"; it's certainly not
freedom.)

As I said last time, the Scriptures make it very clear that sex is good
(as well as healthy and necessary), but sex must be within the context
of a monogamous marriage between a man and woman. No ifs, ands, or
buts. This point can be affirmed without using the Bible.

Physicians, economists, psychologists, and others will attest to the
fact that serial infidelity is a counter-productive, destructive habit.
I don't think they would weigh in on the moral or spiritual element.
They don't need to.

There may be the momentary rush of illicit sex, but that's as far as it
goes. Even the Scriptures speak of the "pleasures of sin for a season."

Think long term and big time. Do the right thing and back off and away.
It's not merely a one-night fling that is at stake: it's a
generational, self-destructive one.

Something on my Mind: No Hanky-Panky (1)

While each one of the Ten Commandments is applicable and timely, this seventh one and the one we just looked at seem more relevant than ever before. I'll leave the "murder" edict alone for now, though just to add that so much more could have been said, in light of what happened at Orlando, Las Vegas, New York City, and, most recently, Sutherland Springs (Texas).

Think with me about your circle of friends and relatives, colleagues and neighbours. Now break it down in terms of relationships—those married and those not married; those where one of parties is married, but the other is not. Good: Let's now talk in terms of the seventh commandment, the vice of adultery.

Don't sugarcoat it with some Hollywood mantra, like "if it feels good, do it." Don't even allow yourself to cave in to those other feeder vices, namely, pornography, x-rated movies, and Internet smut. And while you're at it, don't blur the lines between lust and love, guys and gals, or whatever you think you can get away with.

One reason our culture has been turned on its head in these past few decades is there has been a wholehearted abandonment of self-control in the area of sex. Restraint has been supplanted by no holds barred, and "nothing doing" has been trumped by "anything goes."

By the way the Brits have taken quite a hit in this area. I don't know where the expression, "No sex please, we're British," came from, but it's a cheap shot that is unnecessary—although they're not exemplary in their behaviour by any stretch. They say that the Victorian era was marked by an attitude in which there was no sex. I counter that this current era is marked (or is is "marred"?) by living as if there is nothing else but sex.

The Bible is not against sex—not by any means. One of the first commands to a newly-created Adam and Eve was to "go forth and multiply." And subsequent to that, one of the first recorded acts on the part of Adam and Eve was the starting of their family.

It's that fine line between sex for procreation (in marriage) or recreation (outside of marriage) that seems out of control these days.

However, the Bible makes it very clear that if you truly want sustained happiness, good health, stable family life, and a better society overall, you will not commit adultery. That sounds like God is the ultimate Killjoy, but nothing could be further from the truth.

Back to my second paragraph: Think through those friends, relatives, colleagues and neighbours, and catalogue those who have had affairs, flings, one-night-stands, and other euphemisms for unbridled sex. Those events are often made out to be such a wonderful conquest, but I assure you that the results and memories tell a different tale.

My assignment for you today is to think about the wife that was dumped, the kids' trust that was shattered, the home that was broken up, the money woes that followed, and the lives of the then-lovers that were destroyed. Let me use some words to describe the results in our culture, if we are don't obey this seventh commandment: grief, poverty, violence, disillusionment, STD's, infertility, bitterness, anger, confusion, promiscuity, addiction, murder, unemployment—and I'm just warming up.

And someone says that adultery has no consequences?

We can all reject the idea that God is our Maker. And we can all reject the law of gravity. But rejecting the law of gravity doesn't help when we jump off a building; we still suffer the consequences.

So it is with rejecting the laws of God. He has made us and knows what's best for us. So when He says "no hanky-panky" (His thoughts, but my creative spin on the wording), He knows what He's talking about.

Look at that list that I started a few paragraphs ago. What good can come out of the consequences of any adulterous relationship? I can help you with the answer: None.

With a culture hell-bent on self-destruction in this area, the blame must be clearly placed at the feet of those disobeying this commandment. I know for a fact that there are a lot of "amens" as I write, and they are not just from religious people.

They are from the victims of these rampant acts. I think it is prudent to think of all possible consequences before you commit adultery—then run from it as far as possible.

Keeping your hands to yourself would be a great place to start.

Something on my Mind: You Shall Not Murder (2)

Last week, we looked at what this sixth commandment does not apply to. So if if it does not include hunting, gun control, or capital punishment (and pacifism, which I didn't deal with), what does it mean?

It essentially has to do with the sanctity of life, from womb to tomb,. Murdering a defenceless human being and giving it a fancy name like "abortion," or murdering a very ill or elderly person, and giving it a likewise fancy name like "euthanasia," is cowardly and contemptible.

Likewise, that commandment includes "life itself." Cold-blooded murder, that is targeted and intentional, is dead wrong, no pun intended. Even the courts identify such as first-degree murder.

Beyond that, sometimes death takes place inadvertently when, for example, during a fight or robbery or momentary outburst that ends in death. That would be classified as second-degree murder or manslaughter. Death is death, to be sure, but the difference is whether it was intentional or not.

All lives matter (not just black or blue ones, by the way), and we are commanded to treat each person as the special beings that they are, regardless of culture, race, ethnicity, sexuality, and language. It doesn't mean that we necessarily endorse or embrace people's choices, of course, but there is no place for murder.

We observe that sort of murderous mayhem these days, one more example of the desperate trajectory of our western civilization. I still wonder, that if this sixth of the Ten Commandments was followed, how much better our world would be.

Actually, I don't wonder at all: It would be much, much better. And safer.

Can you imagine (and with the bloody assaults within our nation, that's all you can do), a society where this law was understood and implemented? I haven't been around for the past 10,000 years, so I don't know if things are getting worse. I do know that there are more people than ever before, and that the news agencies are seemingly everywhere, reporting anything that smacks of sensationalism.

Another concrete ramification of this commandment is that of self-defence. If I am being attacked on the street, it is my duty to defend myself. The same goes for my house being broken into: I should not stand idly by while my family and I are being assaulted. That is a non-starter, and I personally see no option here against force here.

Please note that I am using the word "defend," but not necessarily "murder."

That would be one of many reasons why a disarmed citizenry is a dead citizenry, and gun control is wrong. Maybe the good guys would comply, but the bad guys wouldn't, so actually bad things would become far worse.

If we truly understood the value of human life, then we would grasp when and where our people needed to be armed. Even a better grasp of Scripture also works in our favour on this issue, but that's likely too much of a stretch for many people.

Life is far too valuable to be made vulnerable. Those who doesn't have that common sense and rational approach to life are actually the dangerous ones—whether they are politicians, celebrities, or even religious leaders.

They are the loose cannons when it comes to gun control (pun mercilessly intended).

The value of human life is implicit in this sixth commandment. Embrace it, and you will live...in more ways than one.

Something on my Mind: You Shall not Murder (1)

A ton of thoughts flood my mind as I start this column, mostly based on the myths surrounding this sixth commandment. In fact, this may be the mostly hotly-contested of them all.

Much of the confusion, in my mind, revolves around the words "kill," and "murder" (as in, Which one is it? And, Are the terms interchangeable?). It also touches on the sanctity of life, capital punishment, pacifism, and self-defence, just for starters.

To try to develop each one of these hot-button topics, yet limit them to just a few columns, is a near-impossible task.

So when I say "myth," I am referring to all sorts of loopy ideas that come out of this prohibition, not the commandment itself. And needless to say, in keeping with my other columns about the relevance of the Ten Commandments for our world, it would be a better place if we followed it (and the rest of them)—absolutely no doubt about it.

Because of the wide variety of Bible translations, interpretations and applications, all of which are worth sincerely looking into, I could be writing till Remembrance Day (at the point of writing, that would be four columns away). Now that would be ironic, wouldn't it?

I'll be hard-pressed to squeeze my thoughts into a few columns, so I plan to pare my thoughts down and do just one or two. (I plan to, but I don't promise to—a big difference.)

The word in the original language, Hebrew, has the thought of murder, not kill. It has the thought of slaying, crushing, and dashing to pieces. The main thrust is actually the "intentional taking of the life of another human being."

So this is where we must be clear-headed and rational when applying the Bible to this dialogue. There can be extreme views on either side, and both tend to miss the point of the passage.

For starters, then, these commandments are directed at how humans relate to their Creator (the first four) and mankind (the next six), and fits right in to the theme of humans getting along (or not) with fellow-humans.

This is not what Bible students call a "proof text" against hunting animals. Animals are not in the context, for starters; as well, the culling and killing of animals is actually encouraged in the Scriptures. There is a humane way for hunting animals, especially when there is a need for food or protection; plus, there are a lot of examples for animal sacrifices in the Old Testament.

It likewise does not allow any discussion on the evil of gun control. Every time there is some senseless murder, and there are a lot of them these years, the rabid Left start spouting off about gun control.

By the way, have you ever noticed that when liquor or cars contribute to the death of someone, they don't rise up and call for the banning of liquor or cars? But when guns are involved, the same mindless rabble want to ban guns? It's the people that commit the crimes need to be dealt with, not guns. The Liberals have it all backwards. I understand that there are more deaths by knives than guns these days.

Nor does it touch on capital punishment. I am not coming down on either side of that argument at this point. I fear innocent men and women have been killed needlessly by the state, but that is not the issue here. I'm simply saying one can't argue for sweeping clemency based on this text.

An inherent danger in this sort of topic is when one has a tentative grasp of truth (more bluntly stated: people who know very little about a subject) become very dogmatic and defensive. Don't make "you shall not murder" mean something entirely off-base. It's a warning I take seriously for myself, by the way.

See I told you: I'll need another column to flesh out my thoughts. In the meantime, play it safe.

Something on my Mind: Mom and Dad (2)

I have been in enough homes, classrooms and workplaces in the last 40 years where I have seen, heard, and even felt a serious lack of honour towards those in authority. And it's not a pretty sight, sound, or feeling, I can assure you.

I assume you likely have experienced the same breakdown.

The resulting tension and stress is very unhealthy, and no doubt it has spawned all manner of phobias, anger, and mental disorders that can be directly attributed to this "honour collapse."

A little caveat is in order here: Where do you draw the line when it comes to honouring what you cannot honour? The stickler, in my mind, is when honour is due, but the object is not honourable. That's worth a column on its own, but I really have no original thoughts on that right now.

When kids are trained in a warm and consistent way, by parents who love each other, and them, families are better off. Actually, we're all better off: schools, streets, public gatherings, and workplaces. Absolutely no question about it.

Let's start with the kids themselves: They are not designed to get their own way all the time, or show disrespect or contempt when they don't. Parents are to train and mould them to be self-disciplined and others-oriented. I know, I know, that's a gross over-simplification, but you get my point.

It's unhealthy for kids to get what they want when they want it (okay, I may give in to demand breastfeeding). If they do, they could grow up and be demanding, insubordinate monsters—hey wait, maybe that's what wrong with many kids these days.

Honouring one's father and mother, then, means respecting their rules, their expectations, their house and all its possessions. You see, when one learns to respect one's own property and possessions, it follows that there will be a greater respect for other people's property and possessions. Hence, vandalism and burglary would diminish. (We'll touch on that further when we tackle the "don't steal" commandment.)

Kids who honour their parents don't mouth off at them, defy them, and go out of their way to break their hearts. Parents don't even have to be present for that to kick in: A kid who honours father and mother even when the parents are absent is a well-trained kid, and is on his or her way to becoming a well-balanced citizen.

And that's where the societal benefit comes in.

As an aside, and a big one at that, when the family unit breaks down, ie., by desertion or divorce, the biggest losers in the skirmish are the kids themselves. Oftentimes with that breakdown comes broken hearts and spirits, bitterness and anger, often leading to poor attitudes towards others in authority.

When kids become adults (they do grow up, you know), and if that baggage has not been properly dealt with, then drink, drugs, promiscuity, and insubordination ensue. This is not good for the person in question, his or her relationships, and society at large.

And it all begins with the lack of honouring one's parents.

To be honest, this is a gross over-simplification, but I'm writing a column, not a doctoral dissertation.

I can think of countless authorities, besides parents (teachers, employees, pastors, peace officers, for starters) out there that would think they died and went to heaven if their subordinates would treat them with a little respect. Note, I didn't say "a little more respect"; I said just a little respect.

Respect is far more than lip service ("yes dad" [mom]). It's a full package here,: attitude, tone, and lifestyle, We would be so much better off if we could honour those in authority.

It starts with us adults: Maybe we could model what it means to honour those around us.

Something on my Mind: Mom and Dad (1)

You've seen the professional football dude, during his television interview, send his "yo momma" message back Georgia, haven't you? The player will face the camera and speak squarely into the mike, as he makes sure his message gets out. Note, though, that it's never his dad, just his mom.

Hockey players, on the other hand, when they have the same opportunity, will thank both parents indirectly—meaning they will say positive things about their parents to the interviewer, but not into the camera.

Either way, anytime a player acknowledges his parent(s), it's a good thing, and a good lesson for us all.

We non-jocks tend to (or at least should) do it ourselves usually twice a year, whether or not we've scored a touchdown or goal: it's called Mother's Day and Father's Day, and it comes in the form of a phone call or a card to our parents, respectively. Mind you, not all kids do it each year, I can assure you, but it's nice when some token honour is given to them..

With that, I introduce our fifth of ten commandments, namely, "honour your father and mother." Unfortunately, this is a stretch for many.

It's a stretch if the father has abandoned the family, and the child doesn't even know who he is. It's tough if father's gone, but there are multiple father-figures (mother's "lovers"). Or, father is not gone from the family, but he's never around (must not have read and followed the previous commandment perhaps). So that's a hard one, too. And finally, father is home but, read slowly, he demands honour, but doesn't command it.

The above is true for mothers, too ("honour your father and mother"). If you're like Maurice, I'll need to explain: you need to honour both.

Parenting has many heavy demands, so a card here or call there is such an encouragement

Please note that this commandment is directed towards the kids, not the parents. And, unlike the other commandments, it comes with a promise and a blessing.

Sometimes there is a little confusion between the words "honour" and "obey." At times they are inter-changed, as if they mean the same thing. Well, they don't.

Children must obey and honour their parents. But as they grow up and mature, then move on and out, the obedience part is no longer required, but the honour part is for life.

Take me, as an example. I left home just days before I got married, thirty-six years ago. Up till the day I left, I obeyed and honoured my folks (okay, not consistently or willingly, but more or less until I went to university ). But once I left, things changed, though not too drastically. To this day, I still honour my widowed mother in a variety of ways (weekly phone calls come to mind).

The practice of honouring those in authority in those formative years has stood me in good stead over many decades. I transferred that attitude to other authorities over the years and in different spheres. For myself, once I learned to honour my parents, it was natural to honour my classroom teacher, the officer on the street, the elders in the church, and my boss in the workplace.

The inverse is tragically true as well, namely, a lack of honouring one's parents can easily lead to insubordination, frustration, rebellion, even anarchy.

The societal gain of the young honouring those in authority (eg., the student or citizen or employee honouring the school or the law, or the business) would be incalculable, utterly incalculable.

There are too many societal benefits to list here, but, suffice to say, petty crime, unemployment, and personal vices would be drastically impacted. Eradicated? No. Diminished? Yes.

There is nothing inherently religious about honouring one's parents. But there is something inherently practical and productive about it.

Something on my Mind: Twenty-four Six (2)

You may wonder what the "Twenty-four Six" heading means. Well, for starters, 24/6 is different from 24/7. The former suggests what I am driving at; the latter suggests that I'm being driven. (Fairly witty distinction, I'd say.)

We speak of support lines being available 24/7, of certain coffee shops being open 24/7. Those schedules are good and bad: good for the buyer, bad for the seller.

There is a real need for a six-day work week these days, with the seventh day being a true day of rest. You'll have your own definition of what "rest" means. Technically, it means "to cease from labour," whatever labour you're doing.

I have to confess my sin here: I rarely take a day off myself, though I am no longer bound by a Monday-to-Friday job, with working set hours. Sometimes with fixed hours, one can just leave the workplace and go home (I know there are lot of exceptions). But when it is fluid (like mine), one who is a Type A (like yours truly), it is really had to draw the line—because there simply is no line.

The premise of today's column, with this particular commandment, is that we need to take a break on a weekly basis in order to restore our mind, rejuvenate our bodies, and re-kindle our relationships, The two begging questions are: Why should we do it? And, How should we do it?

Even within the immediate context (Exodus 20.8-11) of the historical basis for such a day, there is the encouragement when to work and not work, setting aside a day of rest. There is the "holy" (= special and set aside) component to the Sabbath, but I won't develop that here.

Taking a regular break is not without precedent. We take a break every night; it's called sleeping. And woe betide us (and those we come in contact with) when we don't enough sleep or have a lousy night in bed.

We take a break from eating (and maybe cheat a little with snacking), but we pay the price if we eat too much. We even pay the price if we don't take a break. It just needs to be balanced. We often take a break from working; it's called a family vacation, though sometimes if we don't do it right, we end up needing a vacation to recover from our vacation.

But this notion of taking a break, a rest, a cessation from labour (very technical-sounding, isn't it?), is what this column is all about. Are you able to work your five days, maybe six, and then say "enough is enough"?

The key is to replace your labour with something very different, and I will leave that up to you to call that one. It's a matter of structuring your lifestyle whereby there is a balance between the duty of doing and pleasure of leisure Any imbalance leads to either extreme of workaholism or laziness, and we don't want that, do we?

I know, even on a Sabbath, dishes always have to be washed, meals prepared, garbage taken out, along with the regular household chores. In most of our cases, our lifestyle would need some severe tweaking, and even then, we likely couldn't come up with a clean-slate sabbath.

You might want to adjust your schedule, and one complete day may not work for you. Perhaps it will be a couple of nights a week here, or a morning there. That doesn't strike me as too difficult.

We (and I mean "we") may work a lot because we find some fulfillment, as a badge of honour, of being always busy. Other times we work a lot to avoid being engaged in the matters that matters most, namely, family and friends; that is, it is a means of avoidance. Sometimes we work a lot because there is both a time and financial constraint issue, and slaving ten hours a day six days a week is the only way to keep our head above water.

But the simple point is that we need to have a regular break from the weekly routine. It doesn't mean we have to do this to replace doing that. That may work, but better, just get creative when it comes to habits, duties, chores, demands, and expectations.

We've heard of a good "work ethic" and that is absolutely necessary for all. But I suggest we also need a good rest ethic, or in the language of today's column, a good sabbath ethic. I've never heard that phrase before, and yes, if you ask me, I think it's kind of cool.

The Designer (God) of our souls knows what's best for us. I think it's wise on our part to read and follow His Manual (Bible) for our life. We'd have a better society for it. And that is certainly a good goal.

Something on my Mind: Twenty-four Six (1)

"Remember the Sabbath to keep it holy" is the fourth of ten commandments that we are looking at, and easily the hardest one so far for me to apply in a practical sense. I don't think I struggle seriously with competing deities, graven idols, or bad language (ie., the first three commandments).

Well, a little lapse here and there, but in the main, I think I have a handle on a hands-on response to the Ten Commandments, so far. But the this fourth one? I find it hard to take a regular break.

To repeat: This brief series on the Ten Commandments is based on the premise that we would (absolutely and definitely) have a better society if we implemented the Ten Commandments (also known as the Decalogue) in our personal lives, family lives, and every other aspects of our daily lives.

This is not a hint about Shariah law, nor any other form of theocracy. And the disastrous series of the ragtag religious quest called the Crusades is an example of that; the Inquisition would be another. And while we're at it, converting to Islam at the point of a knife is yet another example of what I'm not writing about.

Without using this column as a pulpit, I am firmly convinced in my mind and by my experience that when the Bible is applied in every area of life, it works. That is, it works financially, sexually, morally, ethically, physically, emotionally—and any other word that ends in "ly" and that fits into this list.

Today's commandment (layman's terms: "take time off or set times aside every week on a regular basis") would be helpful, when applied to each of our lives. Honouring the Sabbath (and not necessarily in a religious sense) was the norm until about thirty years ago, when the doors blew off protecting families and businesses from the frenetic rat race of a seven-day work week.

I am not aware of studies (and yes, I have looked for them) that show that we are better off by not remembering (= "marking") the Sabbath. Contrariwise, a Dr. Sleeth, a former emergency room medical doctor, cited a serious growth in anxiety and depression as a result of not remembering the Sabbath. I believe he called it an "epidemic."

I think there is the sense, in the one extreme, that we're under the gun to go, slave, produce, and rarely let up. There is no quality time for ourselves, our marriages, our families and friends. Consider the positives of taking time out matter of hobbies, outlets and leisure time. We need a break from working all the time.

(The other extreme, of course, is that systemic laziness, that lack of energy and initiative, that do-as-little-as-possible, with a "it's not my job" mentality. This is one reason why there is an unemployment epidemic: too many people just don't work.)

One extreme is that we can slow down our work pace; the other extreme is that we won't even start working. I'm talking about the former.

Sabbath simply means "to cease from your labour" and it has its origins the creation of the world, where the Creator-God rested on the seventh day (our Saturday). The nature of this column does not allow me to delve in to the myriad restrictions and consequent punishments for not obeying the laws of the Sabbath. Suffice to say, they were very severe.

You are free to read about them yourself. I would even supply the Bible (free of charge, of course).

There is a religious order, other than Jews, who honour the Saturday as their Sabbath—thus, they are known as Seventh-Day Adventists. Other people call Sunday the "Christian Sabbath," even though there is no such thing. But I do understand their drift; I just don't see it from Scripture.

I posit that if we could stop the desperate cycle of go-go-go and push-push-push, we would be better off. And that's starting with our bodies, minds, and souls. Too many of us are a driving and driven people, and while I laud initiative and ambition, how much good is too much good?

Another source suggests the many benefits resulting in taking time off—really taking time off and not simply re-shuffling or re-naming it-- as follows: reset one's focus, mentally, emotionally, and physically; feel more productive upon returning to work or any other task at hand; getting life and work into balance, for starters.

I should stop now. You know, I've places to go, people to see, things to do, and I need to get them done before I collapse in bed—only to push myself tomorrow.

In fact, my day of rest gets so full, I need a sabbath from my Sabbath.

Something on my Mind: Watch Your Mouth or Wash it (2)

So how did the muzzled mouth do this week? Did you make an effort at not swearing or cursing this past week? The thought of it put me on my toes, by the way, and I really don't have a foul mouth.

For years I worked as a letter-carrier. Reflecting upon those days after 30 years, I cannot believe how foul-mouthed and filthy a lot of those guys were. And now every time I turn around, In hear of another segment of the working populace who likewise can claim to have the filthiest mouth in the workplace. It's almost like a badge of honour, seeing who can drop the most f-bombs.

To date, I have never known why people have to swear. Machismo? Fear? Peer pressure? Illiteracy? A combination of all of the above?

Using God's name in a useless, purposeless, and empty way, is not good (repeat: Do not use the Lord's name in "vain"). That is the gist of this Third Commandment. And if we are careless about how we use the Creator's name, then we are very likely careless about the use of all sorts of other rotten language.

Maybe we should curse with some pop star's name instead of God; tell people to go to Havana, instead of hell; and say "fuddle duddle" as a replacement for you-know-what .

I'm being facetious, of course. There is no need for any foul language at any time. And that is more of a confession on my part, rather than a sermon for you.

Work hard this week at cursing Sidney Crosby or your mother, as you try to create some new speaking habits. It might sound good.

I would love to go and explain a variety of passages from the Bible as to how swearing and cursing God is not healthy or wise. And it probably means we a have a warped view of God—and that is not only not good, it's dangerous.

What I just said may come across as arrogant or holier-than-thou, but it's not. As a Bible-believing Christian, it is my responsibility to be, well, responsible. If the Good Book says it, I must believe it. And I am happy (not merely resigned) to believe it. And beyond that, I see the massive benefit of believing it in a practical, upbeat, and healthy way.

And again, as a reminder, this is the gist of this series on the benefit of a society practising the Ten Commandments.

The first four relate to dealing with God. The next column will be the fourth of those first four. Then it gets even more practical, more in-your-face, so to speak—and more beneficial for society and you as an individual.

So, the takeaway from the third commandment is simply to watch your mouth. Personally, I don't want to hear anything about a God you may or may not believe in in a profanity-laced outburst. I don't want to hear of "f-this or f-that," or replaced carefully by "#$*!?" as if I don't know what you're saying.

That means no swearing at your parents (or kids|), employers (or employees), or teachers (or students). And if you're really outraged as you read this, don't swear at me under your breath.

Rather, if you can't keep your mouth clean, just keep your mouth shut. The silence would be refreshing.

And a real benefit to all—including yourself.

Something on my Mind: Watch Your Mouth or Wash It (1)

I have often wondered what would happen to certain people if they stopped swearing. I think the resulting silence would be deafening. And refreshing.

Today's commandment, now the third one, speaks primarily of abusing the Lord's name; but by extension, it really applies to any vulgar language. Simply stated: "You shall not take the Lord's name in vain."

There are two ways we can use the Lord's name: one is bad; the other, good. One is cursing; the other, blessing; and one fills the atmosphere with a cloud; the other, with sunshine.

The key difference, of course, is both intent and content.

On the good side of the ledger, if I wish someone "God speed," that's good. It's also very archaic and we don't hear it too often. Even the "good" in good-bye has its roots in the word "God." And if I speak in such a way that I promise or request a "so help me God," that is bringing God (honesty, justice, and integrity) into the situation. And you all know what many say in response to our sneezing. (And it's more than gesundheit.)

Those are very timely and appropriate uses of the word "God."

Taking the Lord's name in "vain," then, means it has no purpose, it is empty. Men and women (this is an equal rights column) will often spew out God's name with no kind intention whatsoever.

Doing that is purposeless and empty, and so meaningless. And as a wordsmith, wasted words and useless utterances really stretch my patience. And then to add insult to injury, I see it as a personal attack on the God Who made each and everyone of us, this writer included..

The appropriate use of "God" is in worship, adoration, requests, and confiding. There should be no other purpose for using His name. Any other use would be considered taking His name in "vain."

I have always found it strange that a culture that is becoming more and more godless, we're hearing more and more outbursts that involve the use of His name. Have you ever considered that contrast? In other words, we leave Him out of our hearts, homes, schools, and media, but we make sure His name is used as a convenient whipping boy (I say that reverently) when it comes to language. Go figure.

I have often thought of starting movement whereby "God" is replaced by "Hitler" or "Crosby" or "Mom." That's ridiculous , of course, but no more ridiculous than cursing with the name of the God Who created all mankind.

It's a bad habit that has plagued all of us since Day One ("Day One" is the day we started effectively expressing ourselves verbally). And by extension, cursing God leads to other foul language and minced oaths (eg., God becomes "gosh," damn becomes "darn," hell becomes "heck," and so on.)

Again, I am not asking you to agree, but I am asking you to think about it. Agreeing with me would be great; but I'd settle for you at least finishing reading today's column.

A culture without cursing, lewd responses, and all those squiggly symbols (#^@$$) is hard to imagine. Can you envision a book without profanity, a movie without f-bombs, and songs with lyrics that are wholesome?

Apart from the divine perspective, a populace that cannot express itself without using vulgarity is an illiterate society, no two ways about it.

  I don't think it's necessary to give a primer on what constitutes filthy language. There is no need to list what is bad language here. It's more like a verbal diet: Just delete the bad stuff out of your vocabulary, and keep the healthy, helpful words in.

Is it that simple? No, but it is that necessary.

Thus, if I—as a writer, grammarian, Christian, and citizen—make it my goal in life to speak appropriately and accurately, I won't stoop to cursing God every time I stub my toe or get cut off in traffic.

If you find that you have a bad habit of cursing, I challenge you to clean up your mouth (and there'll be no need for soap at this point).

Sounds good to me.