Something on my Mind: That Good Old Hockey Game (2)

That good old hockey game will soon start up in Seattle (as mentioned last week), and I'm all for it.

What are we going to call them, the Seattle Whodunits? A couple of names have been thrown around, the "Totems" being one of them. I followed the original Totems back in the '60s, in the old, old WHL, a semi-professional league.

Along with the Totems, there were the San Diego Gulls, Phoenix Roadrunners, Victoria Maple Leafs, and Portland Buckaroos —all very good names, most of which aren't being used much today—although I hear there are the "Maple Leafs" in the NHL.

I would go for a natural, local, or historical moniker for Seattle's new team. And that's why I also like the second option, the "Emeralds." Washington is the "Emerald State" so that's a natural choice and "Totems" is a historical one. As Seattle is the home of Starbucks franchise, maybe they could be the Seattle "Starbucks," for the local flavour, pun deliriously intended. Seattle Espresso? Lattes?

No, I don't think so. I think the first or second option would still get my vote.

Just as an aside, check all the professional and college teams in the various leagues and see how many have some sort of natural, local, or historical reference. Probably more than half.

I cite the following historical examples: Stampeders, 49ers, Tar Heels, Volunteers, Jazz, Oilers, Blue Jackets, Blackhawks, Canadiens (not Canadians), and a ton more. Each seem so weird, until one discovers the significance behind it. Even "Canucks" is slang (and not so kind ) for Canadian boys.

It sure beats the usual Bears, Eagles, and Bruins—all good names in and of themselves. Why not some other natural phenomena (Tornadoes or Typhoons), vicious animals (Vipers or Pythons), or dogs (Pit Bulls or Huskies)? I know there are some teams with those names, but too few and far between.

I'm even thinking of the Seattle Craigs—macho, tough and courageous--but I am too modest to suggest it. However, in that vein, Seattle Ants? Possums?

Speaking of expansion, there is an assumption that there are already too many teams –-31, plus the new Seattle franchise. I personally don't think so. The quality of players may be lower (again, something I question), but certainly the feeder levels are still strong. There are are a lot of up and coming players, from a wide variety of leagues, right across the globe.

As I don't have access to an area NHL team, nor to mountains of money if I did. Lethbridge, closer to me than Medicine Hat, is my first choice for hockey entertainment. I try to pop over for Hurricane games on a monthly basis.

I have written before about how quintessential Canadian hockey is, and I still hold to that. I'm still not sure what makes it so distinctly Canadian, though. A single focus, perhaps, with many expressions? The focus is for the home team to win, with more goals than the other team (obviously), along with the hits, fights, checks, and effort along the way. Just part of an overall entertainment package.

I'm just not sure how Canadian even that is. It may be part of the fibre of Canadian culture, the fact that many of these players are local boys--"local" meaning throughout western Canada.

That's one reason why I find it so strange that there are so many American teams in the NHL, especially those in the Deep South. Ice rinks and palm trees are a strange mix, wouldn't you agree? I suppose that strengthens Seattle's qualification, being so close to the Canadian border.

Well, here's to another 18,000 fans sitting, shouting, and singing, while twelve athletes do their thing with that hard, rubber disc on the frozen water.

Whatever they're called—Totems, Emeralds, or Craigs—I wish them all the best.

Something on my Mind: That Good Old Hockey Game (1)

It's that time of year again, when boy millionaires knock that round, hard rubber disc with a piece of wood shaped like an "L" towards a net; they are trying to get it behind a guy wearing a mask, and wearing enough padding to make the Michelin Man look like the Slender Man; if successful, the shooter follows up with a hug-fest with other excited males who are both on the ice and on his team.

(Mothers and teachers: Do not let your kids get away with such a twisted run-on sentence. Only a county-famous columnist would try this, foolishly enough).

Re-stated: It's almost time for "That Good Old Hockey Game."

That's a title of a song, made famous by Stompin' Tom Connors decades ago. And if you behave really nicely, maybe I can revive its popularity with my own rendition sometime. I can see it now: "'That Good Old Hockey Game,' by Screechin' Craig Funston, coming to a garage sale near you."

Okay, no worries, I wouldn't do that to my worst enemies, not even those on the political Left. But then again...

I have written enough about hockey over these past twelve years in this space that I fear I'm repeating myself. So between my short-term memory and your casual reading, I can't recall...uh, what were talking about again?

There is a lot of excitement in the air these days, though that something in the air could also be someone's smelly hockey socks; it's hard to tell the difference. All I know is it's only the beginning of NHL training camps, yet the buzz is palatable.

Next to the play-offs, this is probably the most exciting time of year for professional hockey: Every team in every league is tied for first place. Take the NHL, for example: the Vancouver Canucks are tied with the Winnipeg Jets! The Phoenix Coyotes are neck and neck with the Nashville Predators.

No player is on the Injured Reserved List or Long Term Disability. There are no sore heads or sore legs, not even sore losers. In fact, there hasn't even been a fight...yet

I have never played serious hockey (unless table hockey or pond hockey count). I can't even skate. Most of the time when I was younger and got together bwith other guys, I was assigned the goalie position—and my position was usually flat on my back or flat on my derriere (that's French for "butt"--I'm so cultured).

As I sit here, I am following the development of the newest NHL expansion team (not completely official, but as good as). Why Seattle got a leg up in expansion on other cities (eg., Quebec City), I do not know. After all, there are some teams that are struggling, so Seattle could have gotten one of them through a re-location (hello, Phoenix and Carolina).

And colours? Please, just anything but red, blue, or black. I would like to see more green (fitting for a team called that may be called "Emeralds" some day), silver, or burgundy—or a combination of all three.

I'm wondering if I should forward this column to the new owners, so they get some fresh ideas. While I'm at it, maybe I could send some clips showing off my goal tending prowess—okay, maybe not.

I wouldn't think they would need a new starting goalie. And they might misconstrue my message and think I was sending my goalie pics for colour suggestions.

Of course, all they would see is black and blue.

Something on my Mind: Of Greyhounds and Plastic Straws

Two newsworthy tidbits in the last couple of months have intrigued me, and I'm sure they have intrigued you, too. Believe it or not, I will show an actual link between them.

Greyhounds (as in the bus, not the dog): The Greyhound bus line that has serviced hamlets, villages, towns , cities, and points in between, all over Canada for years, is shutting down permanently within months. That will create a difficult situation for those who work for Greyhound and for those who make use of Greyhound.

This shift has been in the works for years, so it's not like no one saw it coming.

The situation is serious, when I think of those "employed" by Greyhound and those who have "enjoyed" Greyhound. Losing one's job is no joke; I have experienced it myself. And losing one's access to a necessary transportation service is nothing short of a disaster, especially when there is no obvious replacement in the works.

There are replacement ideas floating around, but nothing is in concrete yet. Ideas are necessary, but these ideas need wheels. The opportunity is there, to be sure, but someone needs to rise to the occasion.

Greyhound had noticed that there are changing ridership patterns over the years, and thus they were losing money, big time. That makes sense to me, in a free enterprise context. After all, it's a business, not a charity. I suggest they should have cut down the routes, just not cut them out.

Plastic Straws. This commodity is very different from the Greyhound dilemma. In short, there is a groundswell movement to ban plastic straws from eateries.

I get it that plastic straws are the latest environmental demon, just like plastic bags were before them. I get it that they don't break down like, say, paper, and that they have filled both landfills and waterways for years. This is pretty clear-cut evidence to the damage hat throwaway plastic can do.

That move appears to be responsible stewardship, though it may not be more than trendy environmentalism. I don't know for sure and maybe no one does. Surely there can be some use for plastic straws than to just simply ban them.

As for Greyhound, there will be some serious layoffs somewhere, including those manufacturing, marketing, and maintaining the buses, in addition to the front line workers. But with those associated with plastic straws, not quite so much.

In either instance, I humbly suggest that, in the true entrepreneurial spirit, here are two gift horses (Maurice: there is no "horse" in the meaning, and "gift" really means "opportunity").

Greyhound is a Canadian institution, with an established client base and proven routes. Some enterprising person could easily move in and re-connect with communities scattered across the nation. Maybe changing the schedule (not so frequent) and the bus style itself (not so huge) would help.

And as for the straws, if the peer pressure is to get rid of all straws over the next few years succeeds, I suggest we consider creative recycling. Surely someone can come up with a product that has plastic straws as a component. Dropping them off at the local recycling depot and getting them converted them into something productive would be a good place to start.

If used tires can be converted into playground padding, surely straws can be transformed into insulation, piping, siding, window frames, and such. Plastic has so many positive uses.

Either way, the death of one vision can be the birth of a new one. That's the spirit of free enterprise and that's how we need to react to these latest challenges