Something on my Mind: Gift Exchange (2(

Just a few more thoughts today on gift exchanges and other traditions over Christmas holiday.

The allure of a gift exchange is multi-level. Not only is there the appeal of teasing the receiver, but there's the novelty of getting something quite unexpected, of tapping into people's ingenuity, and if you don't like the gift, at least you have something for next year's gift exchange.

What sort of other things do you do around this time of year? There are some really questionable ones that people do over the holidays. I am speaking specifically of mistletoe and drinking.

In terms of mistletoe, I don't mind kisses, but I prefer a. the chocolate type; and if not, b. the private non-chocolate type. Public smooching with anyone other than one's wife (in my case) is degrading to all involved

And excessive drinking is nothing less than a tragedy, when you think of the wasted money, the resulting behaviour, and God forbid, the permanent damage caused by a drunk driver.

By now you may have gathered that there are neither mistletoe nor drink at my place over the holidays.

While we're looking at things we do at Christmas, what other traditions do you have? Or what games do you play during this season? For ourselves, we don't have a lot of traditions, though board games are a top priority.

Games can be therapeutic at every level. It's good for the family to sit around a table, laughing, ribbing, chilling, and drinking...eggnog. It's kind of like the old-fashioned days when families talked to each other.

And winning isn't everything, but playing one's best is. Although I must be honest with you, do like to win.

I even see playing games as an education tool. There are a lot of word and number games out there that are very helpful. It's just a different way to appreciate Language Arts and Math, where you can use "education" and "fun" in the same sentence. There are so many ways to approach learning the basics, and games are just one of them.

Christmas is a slower time of year, thus allowing greater time to do things like this together. It seems so old-fashioned, I suppose, in this day and age where too many family members hide behind a screen for the evening, rather than play face-to-face with family and friends alike.

Being a wannabe wordsmith, I am naturally drawn to games like Scrabble, Boggle, and Taboo. And on the numbers side of games of things, I like Rummikub (the last syllable is pronounced "cyube," not "cub" for some reason).

In fact, like many math-based games, it's really hard to cheat at Rummikub (see previous column on gift deception). As you most likely know, you start with so many tiles, each with a number and a colour assigned to it. It's pretty upfront with what you're doing. The goal is to get rid of all of your tiles as quickly (and honestly) as possible.

Rummikub is that sweet balance of luck and happenstance, on the one hand, and intelligence and strategy, on the other. You are dealt so many tiles to start with—that's the "luck" part. After that, you need to take charge and make something of what you've been given.

Can you see where I'm going with this? No? Let me help you:

1. There's a metaphor of life found in Rummikub. We're all born with certain inherent and different qualities. We're "dealt" with a set of tiles with which we must do something positive with.

2. What we do with what we have is up to us. There is no place for entitlement (neither demanding it nor flaunting it). There is no place for floating or free-loading through life. We all have that same God-given opportunity to make something of our respective lives.

At least, those are the lessons I get from playing Rummikiub. I'll be honest with you, though: I don't actually think such heavy philosophical thoughts when I am trying to win.

And unlike a gift exchange, it's really hard to cheat. And that may not be a bad thing, whether it's a gift exchange or life itself.

Merry Christmas...and may the best man win.

Something on my Mind: Gift Exchange (1)

One of the highlights of a normal Christmas season can be the gift exchange, usually with staff and colleagues at work or at an extended family gathering. The essence of a gift exchange is to come with one wrapped gift and leave with a different gift, unwrapped. And hopefully the one you take home is a whole lot nicer than the cheap one you brought.

And I do mean "cheap" as opposed to merely "inexpensive."

Now, after all these years, I just learned that there are at least two types of gift exchanges: white elephant and Chinese. Apparently they are similar but not identical. It may be something that you and yours will want to explore some night when the microwave is broken down and your cable has been cut off. There is a really neat innovation called "google" that might help you research it.

One of my passing fears is that I have been assuming all along that I was playing "Chinese" gift exchange, when in fact it was the "white elephant" version. The other thing I have been assuming is that not only was just one type, but that there actually may be many others. Again, when there you have nothing else to do, you may want to check that out.

This is probably old hat to many of you, but is there a place for trickery in a gift exchange? I would think so. While there isn't a lot of wiggle-room for deception, I do have two (tongue-in-cheek) ideas:

1. Put your gift in a big container, making it look bigger than it really is. While your name should not be on the package (as in a real Christmas gift), people will likely see the big gift that you brought and think more highly (though less accurately) of you.

Mind you, we do that a lot already in life, don't we? We always try to stand taller in order to impress people. Or we may inflate our muscles—well, not really, of course (unless you have balloons under your muscle shirt). We just need people to know we're tough and feisty.

But that can very quickly backfire, when they discover that we're actually Superwuss, not Superman/woman.

Another deception is to make us look bigger when it comes to our intelligence, houses, and wardrobes. So a gift exchange done that way, then, really isn't much different from everyday life.

2. Another way to "cheat" is to use really expensive wrapping paper. After all, we wouldn't think of using expensive wrapping paper to wrap a cheap gift, would we? So, then, pricey paper gives the impression of a pricey gift.

You see, if we think of the life picture here, expensive wrapping paper is akin to fancy clothes, or dazzling hairdo (whatever "hair" is), or tantalizing aftershave/perfume. It portrays something that is out of the ordinary and may give off the wrong impression—wrong, as inaccurate.

These two acts of deception are really a metaphor for life, and that's why having a gift exchange is so uncomfortable, yet realistic at the same time. A gift exchange, Japanese or Pink Panther, captures the essence of what it means to be human in a secular world.
I bet you never thought such a fun event could be so complicated. Well, it actually isn't.

I'm just having some fun with your head. And no, I am not serious about intentionally misleading people in your gift-giving prowess.

I am stretching things a tad, I suppose, but in writing this I developed a more accurate comparison to life such a simple harmless tradition we engage in during the Christmas season. And I just can't think of any other pastime that can do it so well.

In the meantime, if you must, buy a small gift, place it in a big box, with fancy-schmancy wrapping paper. That should keep people in suspenders, er, suspense for a few minutes.

Happy gift exchanging!

Something on my Mind: That Big Day is Just Around the Corner (2)

Tolerance. Diversity. These are current buzz words that I hear on a regular basis. There may not be any bigger time of year, any greater Canadian tradition, where it could be practised than on the Big Day called Christmas.

I think in the spirit of tolerance, which we hear a lot about from our friends from the Left, the

least we can do is tolerate our differing views—and that includes differing traditions, historical/biblical or otherwise. Okay, that's quite a concession on our part, because if we ignore much about the basis of this Big Day, we are in denial of the facts, which is not a good thing.

Here's a really great idea (I'm so modest, aren't I?): How about we don't cram the historical, biblical angle of Christmas down anyone's throat, and they (you?) don't ban our celebration of said day.

I am sadly aware that much of what I am asking for is passe. Christmas songs, school presentations, even general greetings around this time, are long devoid of any mention of Christmas (with "Christ" part being the culprit). I get it.

You see, we all have our Big Days—among them birthdays and anniversaries--and we have the right and thrill of celebrating them. I cannot agree with the secularization of December's Big Day, but I reserve the right for others to do what they want on December 25.

Just don't deny me and mine, and I will do the same for you.

There is a limited historical basis for Christmas being celebrated the way we do today, I agree. I speak in particular of the Christmas tree, the time of year, and the excessive indebtedness that results. They don't seem to have a historical or biblical basis. There is no question there have been a lot abuses on everyone's part.

Our family has a tree, but it merely becomes part of the living room decor and nothing more. It just adds to the ambience of the season I was raised without a tree and never developed a tree tradition until well after I was married. Besides, the Christ-child was likely born sometime in the late summer/early fall, not the dead of winter. We are also very careful how much money we spend. It's called responsible budgeting.

It should be a big day for all, even those of secular mindset. If nothing else, we are celebrating the birth of a distinct historical person. We do that throughout the year and there is no hue or cry about that. I would like to see anyone from that camp mess with other traditional birthdays of famous people, and see if they get away with it.

Just to be consistent: We wouldn't think of messing with Happy, Happy Friday, for example, would we? Of course not. If we did, that would certainly make it a really "black" Friday for all concerned.

It's also a big day to celebrate the season with friends and family, with all the food, fun, and fellowship, spread out over many days.

But it is a Big Day for me and other professing followers of the Christ for other reasons. Christ's birth was a significant event in terms of liberty and freedom. And in this day and age of "tolerance" and "diversity," one wonders why does tolerance does not apply to Christmas. Okay, I fib: I know exactly why it doesn't work both ways.

So, I tolerate the nonsense of the Grinch, the tradition of the mistletoe, and the undisciplined drinking-to-get-drunk parties. I will not be stopping that. I'll leave the latter restriction Operation Red Nose and other men in blue.

It's a happy time of year for many, bittersweet for more and more, something I may tackle in a column or two. In the meantime, let's enjoy the season in the most meaningful way possible.

Merry Christmas!

Something on my Mind: That Big Day is Just Around the Corner (1)

I think the heading is a little unclear. After all, which Big Day am I referring to? Calgary Olympic Plebiscite? Ritchie Brothers Auction? American Thanksgiving? Black Friday? Your birthday? Our anniversary?

The answer could be Yes to each them, though I am thinking of yet another Big Day.

Each of these Big Days are legitimate, and could be a big part of anyone's schedule between now and the end of next month. Who knows, you might have one or two more yourself.

As I write, there is the Calgary Olympic 2026 vote that will be one and done by the end of today (the vote, that is). As much as I don't have a "dog in this fight," I do have an opinion. I won't tell you outright, of course, but let's just say that it rhymes with "oh-oh."

[News flash: the "No" vote won. Yea!]

Then there's the Big Day stateside: American Thanksgiving. I don't know why they are always a few days or weeks after us Canadians, in terms of some holidays, but it's not mine to question—nor to enjoy. Any time there is a reason to be thankful, be it in one's heart or home, or on a national plain, I'm in.

While I am bi-national (Canadian and Irish), I am not that other one--Canadian and American. But if you can celebrate Thanksgiving twice this fall, go for it. I have a sister-in-law who's American, so maybe I will show up on her doorstep soon for a couple bites of turkey.

Question: If I celebrated it online, would that be "bytes" of turkey?

Another Big Day for many is around this same time of year. It happens on the Friday right after American Thanksgiving. It's called Black Friday (while the name strikes me as strange, though I think it has an economical basis: they are not "in the red" [bad]; and hope to be "in the black" [good]). For myself, I think with all the super deals in the stores, it should have been called "Happy, Happy Friday"—both for the retailers and consumers.

But the really Big Day on my schedule is Christmas Day. Because I do not celebrate Thanksgiving south of the border, nor have I ever ventured into any big box stores for Happy, Happy Friday, neither day is a Big day for me.

Christmas Day, though, is sort of a combination of Thanksgiving (turkey and family (or would that be turkey and turkeys?]) and Happy, Happy Friday (making major purchases, which could become gifts). Turkey and gifts, can it get any more Christmassy than that?

Well, actually, it can, but I'll leave that for now.

I recognize that Canada is clearly a post-Christian society and has been for decades, if not for a generation or two. That means that the Christian angle on this big day doesn't count for much anymore. On the other hand, I also recognize that Christmas, in its most minimalistic sense, was both a historical and biblical event. That being said, it has certainly strayed far from its origins.

From my corner, though, I see there are even faith-based people who will have nothing to do with December's Big Day. " Too commercialized," they say. Agreed. "Too secular," they say. Agreed. "Too materialistic," they say. Agreed.

But that doesn't mean we need to do nothing to celebrate it. That's far too shortsighted for my liking. Any reason to celebrate the birth Christ is good, no matter how you slice it.

Then on the other side of the divide, there is a growing movement to completely shut down any historical and biblical reference to the Big Day. I see that as a bizarre response of the highest order. After all, many of us who celebrate don't "celebrate" Hallowe'en; we just ignore it and let others get on with it. I think that's reasonable.

Despite my interest in the Big Day, I am not prepared to wish one and all a "Very Merry Big Day," though. I'll keep "Christ" in Christmas forever, and will continue to wish one and all a "Merry Christmas."

Something on my Mind: Short Days Ago We lived (2)

Remembrance Day is over, but let's try to retain what the day stands for. It would be good to have the memory linger for a long time.

It's much like Christmas, isn't it, though I don't want to cheapen the grimness of pain with the glibness of pleasure.

We spend a lot of time gearing up for that one day, then poof, it's gone. I have always wished that the goodness of that day would linger for the weeks and months that follow—you know, "goodwill to all men" and all that.

One of my greatest sources for history is a magazine, Canada's History (CH), formerly known as the The Beaver. CH has been ramping up the war articles in the last two to three issues, this being the 100^th anniversary of the end of WW I.

I have been intrigued with their focus on the human element, something many of us forget. Those who fought in the two great wars, plus other major skirmishes, were just ordinary, common people. They came from every temperament, trade and town, across our land.

Have you ever thought what our world would like if the Germans hadn't been stopped in World War II? It's hard to imagine even thinking like that because the Germans are now so much a part and parcel of our culture. It seems so stupid and senseless to be blowing each other up, killing each other at random, then only a few years later we're all colleagues.

But the ugly fact is, the enemy (then) had to be stopped. Same thing with the Japanese: The bombing of Nagasaki and Hiroshima was not your average fist fight. Was it necessary? If not what would have happened if the Japanese hadn't been stopped with those bombs? Comparing then to now, it seems strange that our enemies are now our friends. .

Consider the following:

One, for an evil to be stopped, another greater force must confront it. No resistance, no freedom. We all need to sit up, stand up, and speak up, for our freedom--if we cherish it. It's easy to come up with all the answers from the comfort of our easy chairs when we're not directly involved, or hiding behind goofy placards and senseless protests. Armchair soldiers are the bane of all wars.

Two, the guys in the trenches are just ordinary fellows. They didn't invent the war; they were just following orders from higher authorities. I am not saying they were innocent participants. I am saying is that any war crimes should be levied against the ones who didn't necessarily commit them but directed them, namely, those same higher authorities. (Figure that one out.) The Nuremberg Trials are a good example of that.

Three, if you cannot support the war effort by joining the army, at least do something to show your support. One of those flag decals on the back of your car is a good place to start. Maybe age, physical ability, even conscience, may not allow one to be actively involved, but there are other creative ways to affirm the soldiers.

A standing army is necessary, no question about it. To protest its purpose is irresponsible and immature. We have freedoms across our land for which our soldiers fought and died for. And the sad thing is, these freedoms are fading through this next generation that just doesn't get what true freedom is.

I agree with a medical doctor from Canada, , John McCrae (author of "In Flander's Fields"): "To you from failing hands we throw the torch; be yours to hold it high."

Something on my Mind: Short Days Ago We Lived (1)

There are very few calendar events that move me like Remembrance Day. This year is no exception; in fact, it moves me more than usual, and I think I know why.

Valentine's Day, with all its promises, comes and goes; Christmas, with all its wide commercialism and narrow historicity, comes and goes. Father's Day and Mother's Day, with their token acknowledgement of parents, in a culture where parents are often dishonoured, is good but hollow.

But Remembrance Day still has a ring to it, though perhaps not appreciated as much by, say, the green tree-huggers and other fellow-anarchists something I find terribly ironic. The fact that they can enjoy their freedom to protest is due to the origins of the event they are denouncing.

Re-stated: There are many freedoms in Canada and America that we enjoy because others have given their lives for those freedoms. This understanding must be lost on those NFL-kneelers, professional protesters, political activists, and others, that the very liberty they enjoy is because of war.

I hate war as much as anyone. I don't watch war movies or computer games, nor do I gloat over the bad guys versus the good guys, and the gore that's spilled. I think of myself a wuss, though my feelings towards war run much deeper than some shallow emotional experience.

I see war in some quarters as a necessary path for protecting freedom. I see war, then, as not so much about attacking what is wrong, but defending what is right.

Most wars in this world have involved blood and gore, guns and bombs, liberty and bondage, and life and death. Most, that is, but not all. There are literal wars, then there are figurative wars.

You see, there are wars that include philosophical differences; we speak of a war of words, attrition, and ideals. Wars of the wills, especially within a family context, and when they get carried away, could lead to domestic violence of one sort or another.

We speak of the current war in education, with property rights, and over gender issues. These are all very real battles, with two distinct sides, both convinced they are right. And yet without any blood being spilled--may they long continue.

But Remembrance Day, to be celebrated next Sunday (the actual date) or Monday (a civic holiday for many), is not quite so theoretical. And I don't draw my information from Hollywood, though occasionally they get it right. Too often they'll trivialize what really happened.

My information generally comes from articles, magazines and books. Somehow, those sources are able to distill the essence of most historical issues. Maybe not having to pander to the eye-gate or ear-gate allows the writer to get down to the bare facts.

I read recently that the three colours of the poppy—red, black and green—have some

significance. You likely know this, but I must have missed that over the years. Red is for the blood that was spilled on foreign soil; black is for the grief of the soldiers and their families; and green is for the new life in the new world that freedom brings.

Freedom? Have we truly entered into the freedom that they men and women gained for us?

With the mess that our world is in currently, I really wonder if it was worth it. To be sure, it has been worth it for the decades that followed each of the two major world wars. But I am thinking that the current trend of stripping away the freedoms of speech, choice, and religion, plus the sanctity of life, the permanence of traditional marriage—among many other essentials of a healthy society—casts a cloud of doubt over what these men and women fought for.

We tend to forget that. That's why acknowledging Remembrance Day is so important...lest we forget.

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