Well, I just came back from a good wedding. Let me tell you about it.
This good wedding is simply the start of a good marriage, but it is also the culmination of a bunch of other good things. Good things such as the following: two strong, committed families (bride and groom's), possessing virtually the same standards for courtship, romance, and boundaries; two strong, committed individuals (today's bride and groom) who willingly bought into these said standards; and a whole host of friends and family -- from as far-flung places as British Columbia, Washington, Montana, Texas, and Mississippi – to celebrate the grand event.
I suppose the spirit of the wedding made it really stand out for me. The energetic purity, the eager anticipation, the extra touches -- these all made for quite a day. For example, I had never been to a wedding where the actual ceremony took place in the centre of the hall, rather than at the front. In other words, everyone had a ringside seat, close to the action.
In this day of cheap shots about marriage and general denigration about husbands and wives, I found it refreshing to see something that modeled the ideals of a stable marriage. I heard promises of a commitment to a lifelong relationship, of a love that vowed to weather all anticipated challenges, of a vision for a sense of team work.
Preparing for a wedding takes a lot of work; preparing for a marriage takes even more. Sometimes we tend to get the order reversed: Months of effort go into the day, but there is little thought that goes in for the years. Questions about and approaches to such touchy subjects as finances, children, house duties (for starters) are shelved until they raise their ugly head weeks into the marriage. What could have been a reasonable discussion then becomes fodder for a fight.
No matter where you come down on the institution of marriage -- that is, its purpose, its durability, its components – I think I can make two definite statements about its significance. One, strong, stable homes are the basis for a strong, stable country. And two, safe, secure marriages produce safe, secure kids. It can't get any better than that, namely, strong leadership and secure followership.
I know those definitive statements may rankle some of my readers. I do not choose to offend; I simply choose to lay out what I think are some essential qualities of marriage. It crushes me to see how little emphasis is placed on entering this relationship. I don't think writing a test or taking a course would be the answer, but methinks there should be some sort of mandatory pre-marriage training.
But back to today's wedding. There was a lot of pre-wedding preparation, in addition to some pre-marriage preparation. There were dresses to make, chickens to butcher, brochures to design, and a million other tedious tasks to throw together. Hard to believe, but it all came together and a good time was had by all.
Today's wedding had a special angle for me: I gave away one of my daughters, the first wedding in our family. I suppose I was expected to cry, but my wife and I were too happy to give away our daughter to such a fine young man that we had little reason to cry.
Maybe I could have solved that problem by finishing off that onion sandwich after all.
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