Did you hear the latest about Barack Obama? He tried to walk on water, but a plane beat him to it. Seems like the 'Hero of the Hudson' pre-empted the divine of the Democrats. Next thing we know, he'll be trying to heal all the blind and the deaf of America – with a bailout, of course.

Is it just me, or is anyone else getting sick and tired of all this Obama-mania?

I'm told there will be exciting changes that Mr. Obama may (or may not) bring to the White House. If half of the changes we are told are true – be it in re-vamping stem cell research, deal or no deal economics, smooging with the terrorists, for starters – then I suggest there will be a lot of changes, but few of them wise.

They say that anyone can become the next USA president – just look at Barack Obama's rise to the Oval Office. In repeated and fanciful communiqués, the spin doctors fail to discuss the deep pockets, the questionable sources, and the academic efforts that marked Mr. Obama's journey to the top. (No, Virginia, not just anyone can become the next president of the United States of America. That is a cruel hoax, so don't start planning your inauguration speech just yet.)

Whether you have a religious bent or not, I bristle when I hear of Obama being considered the next messiah and saviour. I think a correct term here is hyperbole, a serious exaggeration of the facts. In addition to any subtle connection to Christ himself, I would suggest that pundits and columnists save the rhetoric until the man has served some time in office. Like maybe years after he has had his run of the country.

Or it could be the "ruin" of the country, depending on whether his "I" gets in the way.

Two cases in point: The more I study Ronald Reagan's policies, both domestic and foreign, years and years after he left office, the more I see how heroic his leadership was. And then there is Bill Clinton. How do you spell s-h-a-m-e-f-u-l?

Meanwhile, back at the White House: What makes the man so appealing? I admit that his oratory skills are excellent, and his ideas are both fresh and refreshing. So far we have heard words, but we need some deeds. We need to see the impact of talking the talk and walking the walk before we can judge him honestly, for good or for ill. Whether I am Democrat or not (and I'm definitely not), I should reserve judgement of the man until he has actually proven himself.

Just in case you have missed the thrust of today's column, I am not prepared to venerate, exalt, or deify any human, in the first place; and in the second place, this man in particular hasn't done anything of note, either during his campaign or his first few weeks in office. I simply say, Let's wait and see what he does – not merely says – before we anoint him.

I mean, after all, if you really want to worship someone who has already walked on water, healed the blind and deaf, and qualifies to be worshipped, I would love to discuss it sometime. And His talk matched His walk.

For the record, He's been at it for quite a bit longer than Mr. Obama.

As I sit here with my laptop at my fingertips (literally, of course), my cellphone within calling distance, lights all around me, I wonder which one of these conveniences I could ever do without. I cannot imagine a world without indoor plumbing and heating, without two or three cars in the driveway, or without electric knives and can openers.

Okay, I kid: I could live very easily without any of those electric gadgets.

But it would be good to do a quick survey of inventions from the past 100 years that we just simply could not do without. And, conversely, which ones we could just as easily drop. For the record, there will not be television remotes, garage door openers, and automatic toothbrushes on my list.

If you can take a break from your automatic table-setter control, try to think of (or better, try to invent) something that would be worth inventing. After all, that's how that sweet convenience of yours arrived in your world in the first place: Somebody saw a better way of doing whatever – then promptly went out and created, failed, got up and tried again, and finally pulled it all together.

For me, in addition to my laptop and cellphone, I think a natural gas furnace, flush toilets, and electricity are near the top of inventions that I would find hard to live without. In the stationary supply department, I am grateful for loose-leaf paper, gel pens and post-it notes.

I laugh at those who feel they must have high speed Internet. Granted, I prefer high speed to slow speed, but I most certainly can survive quite comfortably without life in the cyber fast lane. It would be nice, but it's not necessary.

With the economic slowdown that is starting to happen, it may not be a bad thing to assess your comfort level and ask yourself the same question I hinted at: What so-called conveniences could you do without? What perks could you jettison, if absolutely necessary – while saving energy and money at the same time? Or, maybe you actually do need one of them – but three of them?

Four weeks without hot water over the past few weeks made me ask myself the same question. A gimpy oven for months made us do the same thing. A jet pump that went south (twice) in the fall had me recognizing that we really do have it good, even without constant water pressure. In other words, we love the regular hot water, two ovens in one kitchen, and water that flows at the twist of a tap – but we survived fairly well without them.

Okay, so we smelled like old socks for four weeks, but at least we all smelled in unison. Well, you might say that was quite a...feat.

This is just a test, a challenge and nothing more. But it's not a bad exercise to think through how many unnecessary toys we pad our lives with. So next time you open your tray of instant stew with an electric can opener, followed by "nuking" it in the microwave and then slurping it down as you work out on your treadmill, think this: Are all these things really necessary?

Your grandparents' version of the above might have looked like this: They would step outside while it was dark, chop wood for the fire and ice for the water; they would then heat the water with the wood and peel the potatoes that they grew in their garden. Anything else they added to their meal that morning would have been gathered, milked or dug. They wouldn't need the treadmill to finish my word picture because they had more natural exercise getting everything ready than a week of treadmills could provide.

Somewhere between the two extreme lifestyles above I'm sure there's a balance. Doing it by hand is a better way until a powered alternative saves time, money, and energy. Doing it yourself is a better way until your health or mind is compromised.

Just because I said all the above doesn't mean that next week I plan to write this column by hand, with two candles by my side, plus hop on my horse and ride the sixty kilometres to Bow Island. There's a limit to my back-to-nature conviction. After all, I couldn't travel that far without a CD-player and power windows.

However, I am happy to say that I will gladly give up automatic sock-warmer to show my sincerity.

I know I am not the sports guy in this newspaper, but I still am a sports fan that likes to write. That pretty well gives me license to discuss something close to my heart. (No, Horace, I'm not talking about my aorta. What I just said was what grammar people call "figurative" language. You don't get it? Well, "figure it out" yourself.)

My favourite hockey team - next to the Killam Cookies (let's me legally shout, "Go, Kill'em") - is, of course, the Vancouver Canucks. I have been a fan of the Canucks when they played in the old Western Hockey League, along with the Victoria Maple Leafs, Seattle Totems, Portland Buckaroos, and San Diego Gulls, to a name a few teams. Those teams are long gone and their host cities have franchises with either the Canadian Hockey League or the East Coast Hockey League.

I remember the year the Canucks, along with the Buffalo Sabres, entered the NHL. It was the year before I graduated from high school. Remember the flip of the coin, where they got Gilbert and we got Dale? (At least Dale Tallon is still around: He is now the general manager of the new-and-improved Chicago Blackhawks.)

The Lord in heaven have mercy on me for the following statement: The Canucks have always been under-achievers. Skill, depth, and grit have always been there, but they have never lived up to their potential. They have made it to the finals only twice in their thirty-seven-year NHL lifetime: against the Islanders in 1982 and the Rangers in 1994.

It now appears that 2008-2009 will be yet another under-achieving season. Despite what I believe is an outstanding roster and despite finally getting Luongo back and signing Mats Sundin, the Canucks (or Canuckleheads, as they are derisively called sometimes), are in one of their worst home-ice funks in franchise history – to say nothing of their overall record. The easiest thing for them to do would be to fire the coach; maybe not the wisest move, but certainly the most common. It happens all the time, usually with minimal success. This year alone, Tampa Bay would be an example, though Chicago would be an exception.

I don't play the game myself, I just write about it. However, I do have a few suggestions. I don't know if the Canucks' management team reads my column, but just in case in their wisdom they do, here are some tips that could turn their (and every other) team's season around:

1. shoot the puck at the net; the more frequency the shots 'at', the higher frequency the shots 'in';

2. pass more in the defensive zone, but less in the offensive zone (see Tip One);

3. keep your lines intact; when guys are comfortable and productive with each other, there is a

greater chance that something magical (we call it "goals") will happen.

One more tip, which would be my most radical one to date: Develop an incentive wage system. The players would get a base salary (say, a measly one million dollars), then more money through incentives. I suggest the player would get a certain cash amount for goals and assists, clean hits, blocked shots, necessary fights, completed passes, and so on – all depending on the type of player involved. A goon would get paid for gooning, a prima donna for prima donning (verb form – is there such a word?) As in the past, each player would sign a contract founded on these most interesting incentives; this new approach would also be tailor-made for each of the individual player's strengths.

There is no doubt we would see an exciting and dynamic National Hockey League. Players would actually have a reason to play well, no longer gleefully traipsing around North America, staying in great hotels, working for only nine months a year, living off multi-million dollar annual paycheques.

Could it work? I think so. Will it work? Are you kidding?

Really, anything is better than the prevalent mediocre performances that I see at present. I think at least the Canucks should try it. If they don't, I may want to shout "kill'em" - using the other meaning.

A Cold Winter

Let's see: It's been cold, snowy, windy, and miserable only twice in the last four weeks - the last two weeks of December and the first two weeks of January. Thank the Lord above for global warming. There isn't any way that Brother Al Gore would be mistaken, is there?

You probably heard, as I did, that this past Christmas was the first in decades where there was a white Christmas from coast to coast in Canada. Oh, that's so romantic, not. I am no longer in a romantic mood, dreaming of a white Christmas. I may dream in colour-vision, but white isn't one of them. My driveway looks best with that sort of gravel-look. My rule of thumb for climate control is this: snow on the fields, but nothing on the roads.

I assume you have no idea where I live (and I'm not actually inviting you over for coffee at this point), but my house is perched on the edge of a coulee. In addition to not having access to high-speed internet because of its location, the location also makes it tough for driving up and out of my driveway. It is the hardest part of my commute. I've taken to parking my van up on a ridge the night before, if I know there is going to be a snow issue the next morning, just to ensure I can get out.

(I can just hear myself phoning the boss man: " Sorry, sir, but I won't be coming to work today – can't seem to get detached from my driveway.")

I know all the reasons why lots of cold and snow is good: Kills the bugs, fills the coulees and thrills the kids. Okay, okay, point made: Now, can I go play tennis?

As I write this, I am listening to 1130AM out of Vancouver (somehow I can pick that up better than anything out of Calgary. Maybe too much snow in the airwaves). There's flooding here, mudslides there, and they are reporting the same everywhere on both sides of the 49^th parallel. I guess from Vancouver to Seattle it is one huge pool. I knew people in Lotusland were all wet, but this is ridiculous. At least out here we just sink, but we don't swim.

I have found out since living here in Alberta that talking about the weather is no longer mere small talk. It also may be the rural-versus-urban tension: In the city, bad weather is an inconvenience, whereas in the country is a lifestyle. I'm a city boy in a country setting, so I guess I'm stuck with an inconvenient lifestyle betimes (which is not the same as an inconvenient lie.)

The Weather Guy on QR77AM stated the other day that this may be our winter spanking (my words). This crummy spell usually comes later, either late January-early February or else in late April-early May. I hope he's right. And we should believe him: When he predicts the daily forecast, we buy in to it. I could handle a balmy -10 for the next couple of months.

My sources list secular scientist after secular scientist (unnamed and unknown to me) debunking the whole global warming tripe. I could have told you that, but I am no scientist. I'm just a mere commoner. Hearing Gore spout off about something that misleading makes me shudder, considering he almost became president of the United States four years ago. Even makes Obama look appealing.

Bad weather impacts everything we touch – be it livestock, vehicles, family, or houses. Bad weather makes us also appreciate the good weather even more. I won't go so far as to say that it has been fun for the past few weeks – that would be an asinine statement. I will say, however, that after a hard task outside in freezing weather, there is nothing better than coming in for a hot cup of coffee, then curling up with a good book or watching a great movie.

On other other hand, if global warming ever kicks in, I could come in after sandbagging my driveway for an ice cappuccino, then watching"The March of the Penguins." Naw, I would be only dreaming – of a white Christmas.

New Year's Resolutions

I don't know where this notion of New Year's resolutions started, but it sure puts a lot of unwarranted pressure on people. One might even call it a self-imposed guilt trip. Granted, goal-setting is good, and January 1^st is as good as any time of the year to make pledges.

With that in mind, and without placing too much unwarranted pressure on your fragile consciences, let me suggest a few that I, you, and maybe even the gang in Ottawa (Harper-version, of course) would do well to keep.

1. Keep your hands in your own pockets. At our level, we call that 'stealing'; in Ottawa, it's called 'excessive taxation.' We all work hard to earn what goods and chattel we can purchase, so don't take it from me once it's in my yard or, worse, in my house. In Mr. Harper's case, the stealing often comes before it even gets to the discretionary income level. Some is good, too much is, well, too much. (The good Lord helps us if those others rascals get back in.)

2. Treat everyone you meet with the respect they deserve. The Good Book speaks of 'doing unto others as you would have them do to you' – or at least that's the spirit of the text. If I want to be valued, protected, and honoured, then I should start with me first; that is, I need to start practicing that myself. I should treat those within my immediate jurisdiction (read: family) with value, protection, and honour. Then I need to move on to colleagues, classmates, neighbours, employees/ers, and so forth. We would all be shocked, even though you shouldn't be, how much better our world would become. In fact, we probably wouldn't even mind phoning the odd government agency if they talked to us with a little respect.

3. Mind your manners. You drop it, then pick it up. You open, then close it. You start it, then finish it. (This is not original, I know, but based on what I see and hear, most people haven't understood it.). The link between manners and duty is the word 'consideration.' No one appreciates a boor, no matter how dressed up it may be. Rudeness is still rudeness. That is one of the roles of parents, and it should never be the role of a teacher or an employer – to say nothing of the government.

4. Spend your money wisely. You only have so much to spend, so don't go crazy with money you don't have. We are facing an uncertain economic future big time on a global scale because consumers, bankers, and governments (all are culpable) never heeded this simple advice. Set money aside for major purchases that you anticipate buying. That actually is the good side of taxes, namely, the government pulls money from our taxable income, then in turn paves our highways, keeps our hospitals running, and provides a measure of education for our kids. Okay, okay, that's how it is supposed to work.

5. Expand your horizons. In other words, do something or some things different this year than you have every done before. (But one rule here: keep in mind the first four goals!). For example, you may want to travel somewhere different this year, somewhere other than Waterton or Writing-on-Stone. If you do, be a nice tourist and treat the nationals as humans, not as your personal slaves, and budget for it well in advance of the big day. Knowing that you are not re-mortgaging the marriage will make for a happier holiday.

Who knows what 2009 will bring? Methinks we all need to re-tool how we go about things for the next year or two. After that, there may have been so many positives in our new approach to our lifestyle that we may simply keep on doing things a little better than before. If enough people pursue this higher road, our great Canada would run better – and be run better.