Family Day

Only in Canada does Family Day follow Valentine's Day. (In the Divided States of America, yesterday is called President's Day. What's the message in that?) First, you give your heart away; next thing you know, you're starting a family. Hopefully it's more than two days apart – try two years, or even a few groups of two years.

For myself, I went the courting-engagement-marriage route, then the family came, a span of about four years. And the family came in quite a big way: Over the next nineteen years, Gwynne and I had nine children, three of each.

Hey, what's this column turning into, a personal diary?

My point today is all about family. Never in my limited experience of eating and breathing have I seen so much implosion of family life. What was once known as a nuclear family has, quite ironically, blown apart at the seams. When I was a kid, you know, the time between "Father Knows Best" and "Married With Children," a family traditionally consisted of a father and mother and a handful of kids.

Today, if the same parents are together after so many years, with the same handful of kids, it's no longer called a family – it's called a novelty. But it's still quite a handful.

Without cramming any number of statistics from any number of my sources down your throat, I would dogmatically state that there is a direct correlation between the breakdown of the family and drug abuse, sexual promiscuity, character flaws, and national crime. Without the gentle and consistent accountability of a firm father and a loving mother, there is a greater tendency for our individual natural bent towards evil to run amok.

One may argue that bad kids can come out of good homes (as well as the inverse), and I agree. Another may counter that simply because parents are still together doesn't mean that the kids will turn out right, and I've seen that time and again. We all know of useless dads and the catastrophe that bad parenting can produce. And who says single parents can't do a great job of raising good kids? Absolutely; I know lots myself.

My sources have made the connection between abusive fathers and prostitution, and absent fathers and a prison cell. I do not pull these comments out of my head. While I do not naturally have these facts at my fingertips, books and the Internet provide ample information. (Feel free to ask me for my sources.)

As I write this, the United Nations is drafting legislation that may or may not impact the future of families worldwide. It may not take out my family's rights, but it may affect my kids' families. And I also read that Al Gore, not a friend of this columnist, has once again foolishly rushed in where angels fear to tread – this time denouncing the authority and role of parents in the lives of their children. If that is the case, I hope his own kids don't listen to him.

Family Day should actually be Family Year, days and weeks and months where kids are made to feel warmed, welcomed, and wanted in their own home. Parents have both the divine responsibility and right to raise their kids in a positive, healthy atmosphere, in order to prepare them to be moral, decent members of this society. I would venture to say that most of us parents would aspire to that goal, with many of us falling a little short most of the time.

I am big on traditions and I would like to think that the number of "family" things we do in our home are helping shape the family that we have been given. Some are goofy, others meaningful, but that's family life for you.

I would love to tell you about them sometime, but, after all, this is a column, not a diary.