Tried, True and Well-Tested

If you take a quick look around the edge of the pages of today's newspaper, you will see advertising. That is how this paper and every other paper in the world make the brunt of their money. That is how their particular economy works.

To be a sharp advertising executive, one has to advertise things that are seasonal – like Christmas trinkets at, you guessed it, Christmas, and candy at (pause) Hallowe'en. Whether there is a connection or not to the real event (for example, Easter) seems irrelevant. The primary connection is between the stock on the shelf and the plastic in the pocket.

So as you peruse today's paper – not yet, please: wait 'til I'm finished – you will see symbols of hearts, arrows, flowers, and some big baby that isn't totally dressed. (Cupid, I believe, is his name.)

It's all about Valentine's Day, for those of you who don't know (and actually, it is still Valentine's Day, for those who do). Lovers long for this day, as do merchants – but certainly not for the same reason. Where they connect, of course, is where lovers take the plastic from the pocket to purchase the stock on the shelves, and everyone stays happy.

Well, not everyone: Not everyone today is a lover, and come Sunday morning, stores will start to take down and package up all the chocolates, cards, ribbons, and other Valentine's paraphernalia. If they could sell any of it after the fact, I'm sure they would. And if a lapsed lover could give after the fact, I'm sure he (s)he would.

I can see it now: "Oh, my lovely turtle, I didn't want to give you this when everyone else is giving theirs. Perish the thought, my little wasp! I saved it for today, my sweet magpie, and today alone!" (And under his breath he reminds himself that he also saved four dollars off the toy walrus.)

Okay, okay, I kid. But while Valentine's Day is a special time for both lovers and merchants, please don't embarrass either a lover or a merchant if they don't celebrate the day. If you are a wannabe lover, there will likely be no card for you, even at a discount on Sunday. And if you sell antiques, for example, I doubt even you can spin that into a Valentine's sale. After all, what message would you be sending to your one and only if you bought her romantic furniture from such a store – old, well-used, and out of style?

I have no idea where Valentine's Day came from – or where it's going, for that matter. I do know that it represents a pleasant break in the middle of winter, fairly evenly spaced (at least for this year) between Christmas and Easter. One wonders if there is a religious origin to the big day (I suggest Saint Valentine may have been some sort of, uh, saint.). If so, I would loudly and publicly observe, once more, the historically sacred spiralling into the shamefully secular.

But while others may or may not lament, lovers squeal delightedly and merchants count eagerly. Apart from any religious or emotional angle, it does fill up the stores with merchandise that is different than usual, and, for that matter, it does add a little colour to the edges of this newspaper.

I just hope my one and only likes the gift I got her from the antique store – tried, true, and well-tested.