Praise for Self Control

I saw a couple smooch for the very first time last week. Smooch, you say? Kiss, in other words? Very, very good. If I could, I would give you a sticker, but I'll resign myself to public acknowledgement in a community paper.

The couple in question did it in front of 300-plus of their friends: Their first kiss was at the altar (their wedding day, Horace), in a church in Calgary.

In my circles, this is becoming more the norm than not. While it may appear to be a throwback to the Victorian Era, where intimate relations were allegedly considered evil, nothing could be further from the truth. These are positive, principled young people are taking a stand against rampant how-far-can-we-go mentality. In today's culture, which is the polar opposite of the days of Queen Victoria, public lewdness is becoming more and more the norm.

It seems that all the walls of discretion are being battered down and thrown away, with the performing arts leading the way. Even the various levels of DVD ratings are misleading: The standards of one set of censors (Hollywood) is certainly not the standards of others (parents). Too often I have sat down to enjoy essentially a clean movie, only to discover to my horror, that what they have defined as borderline has actually crossed the line – at least in my conviction.

But I digress; please bear with my panting and ranting.

J. and E., the newlyweds, are very typical of many young couples that I am familiar with these days. My own daughter and her husband kissed for the first time on their memorable day last September. I appreciate any young couple's pursuit for purity, a desire for discipline – at least when it comes to giving in to what comes naturally.

Some couples seem weird if they "save themselves" for marriage, a most honourable but rare feat in today's permissive mindset. Apart from my personal biblical view of that, it makes a lot of sense at every level – be it physical, sexual, or emotional. I applaud all who take this approach.

But to go all the way (rather ironic way of stating it, yes?) by not even so much as kissing? Well, I turn my applause into cartwheels (just an expression, humans, just an expression). Saving oneself for one's wedding day, then every day after that, is like waiting till Christmas to open that prized present from that special person.

In other words, it makes that other gift (of intimacy) all the more significant.

So, to J. And E., wherever you are on your honeymoon, as well as to all the other couples committed to high standards of personal morality, kudos to you. Refraining from natural urges till the right time is the right thing to do. It will make your wedding day and married life all that much stronger and sweeter.

And such self-control is quite possibly the greatest gift lovers could ever give to each other.