Smoke Gets in my Skies

 

It looks like we can fly the friendly skies once again: The rain in Spain, no, that would be the ash in Iceland, has finally blown away. The hundreds of travellers stranded in airports across the globe can now safely head home once again.

They have likely never looked forward to throwing up at 35,000 feet as much as they can now.

The talk on the street (just an expression, of course) is that the airlines collectively were losing millions of dollars per day because of this natural disaster. Goodness gracious, Madelyn, I didn't know they even made that much in a day! I guess they need to come up with a dollar figure if they ever want to sue someone.

And speaking of suing: There is talk on the street (once again) that there are plans afoot to sue someone out there for all the lost revenue. So, who do they sue – the country of Iceland? Sorry, they're already broke. Some aerospace body out of England? How can you take someone to court when they are simply being cautious?

I think there are bigger fish to fry (read: other theories): One, it could be another possible terrorist tactic. You don't think I'm I serious, do you? Well, actually, you're probably right, but it is late as I write this and I am getting desperate for original ideas. But shift the silliness of that notion aside for a moment and think about it. You might see that it could be a ploy to mess up airline traffic for some time, and do some serious economic and emotional damage. After all, there have already been wackos who have planted bombs in various parts of their bodies.

And two, who's to say that it wasn't a plot of another sort, namely, that Iceland was in cahoots with the Chambers of Commerce in all these major centres of the world? After all, when tourists are stranded in places beyond their control, they need to eat, sleep, and keep busy until the next available flight. So, a little ash here, a little cash there. I wouldn't put it past Iceland to find some way to generate some revenue for their economically-starved country.

I even have a motto for them: "Smoke Gets in my Skies."

What I find so disturbing is that is happened so quickly and that no one was really prepared for it. There was no plan to combat it. While I am no expert on airlines, I do have a few ideas how this can be dealt with next time. I am not expecting a Nobel prize for this, at least an honourable mention might be in order for the following suggestions:

1. Send turboprop planes through the airspace; keep the rest of the fleet grounded until further notice. The motion of the blades will blow away the haze, not unlike a fan would blow away cigarette smoke in a room.

2. Send all parliamentarians on their own special flight to the most congested part of the sky. The hot air from each plane would likely wipe out every vestige of ash within a fifty-kilometre radius. (Note: last week it would take care of the snow on the ground; this week, the ash in the sky.)

3. Deploy a wide variety of alternate modes of transportation. Get more plane, trains, and automobiles (no, scrap the planes) the public arena. I read of all sorts of creative attempts - by the very rich, of course - that allowed travellers to get to their destination sooner, rather than later. Obviously, if a tourist was on this side of the pond, I suppose renting a sub would be the best option – unless you could find a donkey that could swim.

Either way, you might say that all fliers passing through England's airspace can now breath easier these days.