Welcome to the annual Funstuff New Year's Resolution List, courtesy of Dr. Fun (Maurice, that would be me). This is the (only) time of the year that I can vent a little more than usual, taking jabs here and there at certain public objects and culture flaws around me. If you don't like the word "Resolution," then try "Wish" on for size.
And if you don't like the word "Wish," well, I can't help you.
Here they go:
1. Calgary Flames. I wish for them to have an NHL-level hockey team. The club of millionaires that masquerades as a professional hockey team is on thin ice (pun gleefully intended), and is an embarrassment to many hockey fans across Alberta. (If this were Arizona or Georgia, for instance, this conversation wouldn't be happening; I don't think they don't know the difference between a hockey game and a hickey game.)
Solution? Trade Jerome Iginla, a couple of fourth-liners, and some farmhands to a team like the Columbus Blue Jackets. He could then pair up with another all-star (Rick Nash), giving the Blue Jackets instant play-off potential. It would create even more parity in the league. Columbus (unlike, say, Phoenix) is a bonafide hockey city and deserves a break like this.
2. The Conservative Party of Alberta. I wish for them to do something constructive about their future status, before they do something more destructive. No one wants to go through the rigours of yet another provincial election, but the Conservatives need to do something to stop the bleeding. The Wildrose Alliance Party is making some very serious inroads into staunch Conservative strongholds throughout the province, so the PC's had better watch out. Calling a snap election may not be the best solution, especially if their federal counterparts may be forced to do the same, but they can no longer be comfortable with where they're at.
Solution? Shore up what support is left on the right, before they're left right out They still may go down in flames in the next election, but it will at least look like they are trying to stay alive. Do not construe this as my personal support for either party at this point, though I do have my definite leanings.
3. Subway. I wish every success for Bow Island's newest (coming) enterprise. Years ago, in my capacity as a junior high Social Studies teacher, I called for some fast-food chain to move into Bow Island. My "call" came in the form of an assignment for my students, namely, come up with an eatery that would meet the following qualifications: a. located on Highway 3; b. open past 9:00 PM each night; and c. preferably a well-known chain. I did not specify which business should come in, but I know that Subway will be a roaring success.
I have never been able to understand why there's not a coffee to be had between Taber and Medicine Hat anytime after 9:00 PM on any given night. Highway 3 is the main thoroughfare out of southern British Columbia, and into southern Alberta and Saskatchewan. The best coffee bar is at an all-night gas station--and you know what leftover 11:00 PM coffee there tastes like.
Solution? Bring on even more fast-food places in the same area as Subway; make that high-profile corner a going concern. It will give travellers even more reason to stop in Bow Island. It will also give the locals plenty of opportunity and space to get in on the action. Timmy's anyone?
4. Mexican Mennonites. I wish for more of our Mennonite friends to settle in our area. I have stated the following before: If it wasn't for the Mennonites that have settled here in droves over the past five to ten years, the economy in Southern Alberta would be in a state of near-collapse. Whether they are filling our schools, renting our houses, shopping in our stores and buying our groceries, or working as labourers on our farms, the positive impact of these people on our economy is incalculable. I am clearly aware of a lot of resentment on the part of certain non-Mennonites. Okay, I agree, sometimes some of it may occasionally be justified, but rarely.
Solution? Support them in every which way possible. They are prepared to start at the bottom and work their way up, unlike most of us. And doing this in a foreign country where they don't even know the language or the customs. Something (y)our parents and grandparents did.
Hey, we should re-visit this wish list a year from now and see if wishes really do come true.
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