Foremost on my Mind: Cell Phones

 

I am unaccustomed to tackling heavy issues in this column, at least not in consecutive weeks. And the past two issues have been, well, a little emotionally overweight, if you will. People glued to this column (hardy har har) know that I try to present a balance between something "hee-hee" and something heavy, something witty and something weighty.

If I didn't follow that sort of pattern—or at least attempt to—then week after week I would be prone to tackle such monster topics as some of the struggles in public and private education (note operative word, "some"), gender issues (once again), and the killing of defenseless humans, euphemistically known as "abortion."

Believe it not, as sincere as I would be about these touchy subjects, I think we'd all be weary of what would appear to be a usual weekly rant. And I think, between you and me, it would lose its effectiveness. So just a word of warning here: I will continue to present real socio-economic-spiritual issues here, when the need arises.

On the other hand, if I were pursuing lighter subjects consecutively, I would discuss the joy of the return of the "Manitoba Jets" (my biased suggestion for the NHL's latest hockey team), the similarity between BC's Lower Mainland and Southern Alberta (similarity? rain, except their roads can handle it), and the Calgary Flames. You know: shallow, glib, and easy reading.

So I choose to go Foremost-on-my-Mind Lite today: Cellular Telephones.

Granted, we don't call them cellular telephones; we call them simply cell phones. In a grammatically technical sense, "cell phones" are known as clipped words, owing to the fact that some of their letters or syllable appear to have been, you guessed it, clipped.

I personally have a phone, as does my wife, daughter, son, and another son. I'm not sure if we communicate any more effectively than we did ten years ago, when only I had the phone. I need it to be available to the many people I work for and with, but I personally use it only for one purpose: I talk on it.

You know, talk, as in T-A-L-K. Talk, as in not text, not take pictures, not use as a computer. I suppose I am a bit of a neanderthal in this area. Now, if cell phones could make my bed and wash my dishes, I might have a purpose to switch.

Whether I am in my classroom or at my diningroom table, I don't allow cell phones. Not merely cell phone usage—the actual cell phones themselves. Just think of trying to talk to one person while they are talking to another person and you get the picture. I don't know about you, but I consider that very rude and inconsiderate.

We are aware of the law of driving and talking, where talking on the phone is prohibited. I have found that talking on the phone during my long drives home to be a very useful way to spend my time. I know it does represent a supreme distraction to the driver, even in pristine driving conditions—like lonely stretches down the Foremost Highway. (I hope Officer Whodunit isn't reading this.)

I think that cell phones should be turned off during any significant public event—weddings, funerals, church services, and reading famous newspaper columns. The ring alone would be disruptive. If nothing else, at least put the ringer on vibrate, especially if it is just a "hey-what's-happening?" type of call Even then, getting up and rushing out to answer the phone seems so unnecessary. I understand the need to stay in touch if you're a volunteer fireman or your wife is having a baby, but that probably eliminates about 99.99% of us.

Do we really need to cling to a corner and text, text, text? Generally speaking, the content and style of most texting leaves much to be desired. I can see where it could be fun, immediate, and independent—kind of an interesting metaphor for how we view life in this 21^st century.

So, please don't text me vital information or ask me mindless questions about useless subjects. I either can't or won't answer. Besides, it's very rude to be on a cell phone while writing a column.