One of the worst jobs in the world for me would be an ambulance attendant. Or for that matter, anything to do with the words “blood, life-and-death, emergency, or accidents.” My toque goes off to those associated with ER, EMS, EMT, EMR, and PTA.
Okay, just kidding about the last one (though sometimes there may be a connection).
Over the years, I have honestly aspired to be involved in law, health, and politics. The first two careers are lost dreams, it seems, as I should have started them decades ago. Don't know if I would have been very good as, say, a naturopath or defense lawyer, but it certainly is worth moping about.
And then there's politics. I have dabbled in some politics, attending rallies here, AGM's there, and presently I hold a membership in the Wildrose party, but that is about the extent of it. I had thought of running for office as a town councillor recently, but that was nixed because I live on the wrong side of the tracks (literally). I am considered out in the country here in the Back Thirty.
So much for “Hizzoner Craig Funston.” Guess I will just stick with “M'Lord Craig.”
But as the effects of coffee, short nights, and a jam-packed schedule wear off, and reason and rational thinking kicks in, I wander. No, I actually wonder: At this point of writing, or at least until the next coffee binge starts up, I have decided that I wouldn't be caught dead running for office.
Running from office, maybe.
I'm sure you've heard all the political jokes (or is that redundant?) out there, but maybe not these:
Question: Why can't Alberta get even more payback for their primary natural resource? Answer: That's because all the oil is in Alberta, but all the dipsticks are in Ottawa. (Dodge the rotten tomatoes.)
Question: How would you define “politics”? Answer: “poly” means many and “ticks” are things that annoy you—so that definition is “many things that annoy you.” (Pause for the heckling to stop.)
So here in the public record I state that I will never run for office in the foreseeable future. Good to have that caveat (fancy word for a warning or proviso)-- “caveat” being foreseeable future. (Or as my Aunt Bob would say, “Never say never, meathead.”)
We think of all the jerks, er, perks of politics—salary, expense account, offices here and there, status, and such. And they are there. There's not the 9-to-5 grind, to be sure, but there are many other grinds, most of which I know nothing about. I think keeping everyone happy and off my case would be one of the greatest challenges. Between whiners and winos, it would be a tough slog to be a politician.
My greatest headache (or pain in another part of my anatomy) would be two-fold: Taking a stand for what I think is right, and then trying to getting something actually done. They say that getting things passed at the government level is like getting elephants to mate: It takes a long time to, ahem, do it, with a lot of clumsy, awkward positioning, then another long time to actually bring to fruition, followed by years of slow development. (Please don't try to carry the analogy any further.)
With a populace divided over so many fundamental issues, it's actually a wonder that any government gets anything done as much as it does, seeing that there are many levels (and sub-levels), within both the elected and bureaucratic hierarchy.
The process is flawed, even if it is the British parliamentary system. Just watching the gong show also known as parliament is enough to turn off any thinking person. Hey, maybe that's why so many thinking people refuse to participate in the voting process.
If I were an MP or an MLA (and I do know the difference—do you?), I would be hard-pressed to clearly represent my constituents' needs. Pull any number of topics out of hat and see what I mean: abortion, same-sex marriage, education, taxes, transportation, health—and I haven't even started with the heavy stuff. Throw these issues out at a family gathering and see what I mean.
As an elected official, I would have a duty to be my constituents' voice in the legislative assembly or parliament; but as a conservative, evangelical follower of God, that would be a stretch. How would I speak to matters I do not personally agree with?
Some of the greatest parliamentarians were these same conservative, evangelical followers of God, with many monumental accomplishments. William Wilberforce and the abolition of slavery comes to mind. A number of Alberta's premiers a few decades ago were likewise.
I hear a siren: Maybe I'll take that job after all.
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