Friday, July 6, 2018

Someth8ing on my Mind: Reunion (2)

A few more reflections from last time's column:

Reunions are a little bittersweet, as you know, and ours was no exception. Over the course of the time, we picked up news of the usual tensions, namely, family dynamics, health issues, and of course, the state of the patriarch and matriarch of the family.

In the latter case, only the patriarch was present. The matriarch was around yet not around, if you get my drift: Alzheimer's does that every time. It is very painful, to put it mildly, to see a family member who has been so active and productive reduced to that vacant look, in a near-vegetative state, especially to the point where she doesn't even know her daughters anymore.

That's yet another reason why we should be having these reunions more frequently: We never know who's next or what shape we'll be in.

My wife's family is spread across Canada: two sisters in Terrace, us here, one in Victoria and the fifth just east of Windsor, Ontario.

The next generation is even spread out farther, located in the following places: Terrace, Kelowna, Kamloops, Langley, Victoria, Milk River, Airdrie, Edmonton, parts of Ontario, and Halifax.

Beyond kids and grandkids, cousins and their spouses, and as well as an aunt came from quite a distance as well: Nimpo Lake, West Kelowna, Duncan, Fort McMurray and Morinville,

It's funny how scattered we can all be. It's rare these days that a family unit stays together in one place long. Marriage, schooling, employment or simply the urge to move away, factor into this diversity of new locations.

We just celebrated a family reunion, but there are other types, too. And many are held for the same motivation. The next most popular one is a high school reunion; with a community or employment reunion another form. This is often in relation to a small town that existed years ago, for only a few years, before the town's sole employer shut the industry down.

The same questions persist, no matter which reunion we're talking about, namely, family dynamics, health issues, and the whole aging thing. And what is generally spoken in hushed tones is the fact that some are missing, having passed away.

But back to our reunion: Even the trip over to Terrace was meaningful. And long, very long. We took two separate routes, there and back, although the Jasper to Terrace route both ways was unavoidable for those of us coming from Alberta.

As some of you may know, I spent forty-eight years in BC, but Alberta is now my adopted home. Present political climate aside, it has been a positive move, and I don't feel any urge to reside in BC. Visit, yes; live, no. Reunion, yes; residency, no.

So the memories of the good times will linger on. We had the previous reunion four years ago, and I sense the families involved don't want to wait for another four years.

I'm trying to think of a word picture here, and I think I have it: an onion. Consider a raw onion: As you continue to peel back and down, and get down to the core, there are a lot of tears by the time you're finished.

That's probably a perfect metaphor for a family reunion, namely, a peeled onion—good for you, raw feelings, peeling back the surface issues, and lots of tears. Maybe we should give this event another name: Re-onion anyone?

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