This is the time of year, at the time of writing, that many sports fans are glued to their phones, tablets, and that old-fashion thing called television, to watch basketball. Not just any basketball, but college basketball. And not just college basketball, but something appropriately called "March Madness."
It is the best of teams from all over the Sates meet and greet to defeat other teams for college basketball supremacy.
I think "Madness" is a great moniker, but for different reasons, which may offend my fans. I would rather be beat up for my views on vaccination than on college basketball.
All I can say, in my defence, is that it's only a game: five guys on each side, with very long legs, and a peach-coloured bouncy thing that keeps on flying around the court and stands.
The "March" part I get, even though it rolls over into early April. It's the "Madness" part I'm still not clear about. Is it "madness," as in the team gets mad because they don't win? Is it "madness" because a favourite team loses? Or "madness" because a certain form of madness consumes you while watching? Probably a little "yes" for all three.
I have never been much of a basketball player or fan. My first experience as a player was being cut from the grade nine team. (I guess that would make me a non-player.) I thought that was unfair: I threw up that orange thing into the mesh with no bottom a hundred times, scoring twice. Wasn't that good enough? Apparently not.
Just before I was cut, I was thrilled when they told me I was a guard. But I was not thrilled when I found out that I was to guard the Gatorade from the other team.
I learned a new meaning for "foul line." Have you ever played with a bunch of stinky players, your own teammates included? Now there's a new meaning for "foul." I know they usually take showers after the game. But before and during would be in order, too.
I never got a grasp (pun intended) of which end of the ball to hold. I tried to grab it like a baseball or football, and throw it properly, but I couldn't even do that.
And I never knew how to keep my hands off the other team's players (though in the proper way, of course). There is a science to it, I'm sure, but jumping up and down, waving my arms in front of his face, yet keeping at least six inches from his body, was way beyond me. I always wanted to say, "boo!" but apparently that wasn't appropriate. That would have netted me a foul, but not the stinky type.
That was fifty years ago, and I remember it as if it was yesterday.
March Madness will be long gone by the time you read this. There will be fifteen teams grinding through their way through year-end exams, with only one team still hungover from celebrating their madness.
But that's okay. We will then be in the middle of another form of "madness." I call it "April Insanity," Though it will actually include May and June.
It's the NHL play-offs, where more than half of the teams qualify for the post-season. It could go for twice as long or more as the college championships, maybe up to two months.
A thousand thoughts flood my mind, but I don't have the space or time to develop them. Let me predict:
1. No, the Vancouver Canucks will not be in the playoffs...surprise, surprise. However, neither will Edmonton, Detroit, nor Florida. There are a few other good teams that will be golfing earlier than hoped for, all good teams in their own right...just like Vancouver. Vancouver will be more ready than ever next year, what with all these very gifted young players they're grooming. We Canucks fans say that every year, but it's becoming a closer reality. Maybe for the 2021 finals, yes?
2. Calgary Flames, ahem, could go deep into the playoffs this year. Or again, maybe not. It's not hard to like them, starting from the coach and his assistants. If they don't go all the way, my vote is for Winnipeg (from the West).
More on "Insanity" next time.
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