Runners...or Sneakers?

Runners. Let's see: There are runners that are shoots (as in strawberry runners); there are runners that are disciplined (as in marathoners); and then there are those things that those disciplined marathoners wear on their feet. There are few other definitions of 'runners,' but they are extraneous, irrelevant, and meaningless to this article. It's the footwear runner that I want to consider today.

Back in the Dark Ages – that is, sometime between "I Love Lucy," and "Everybody Loves Raymond," runners came in two basic colours, white and dirty. They came in two basic shapes, namely, over the ankle and under the ankle. And they were used for two basic purposes: for those actively athletic and those pretending to be actively athletic.

Now, when it comes to footwear, the parameters (another fancy word for restrictions or limitations) have been kicked out and tossed overboard. Runners come in all sorts of colours, all sorts of shapes and sizes, and you can wear them everywhere, anywhere, and probably even nowhere.

I was even at a wedding recently where the groom and his groomsmen all wore them. (At least they matched the black monkey suits.) If you were to check out your local hospital, restaurant, and classroom, you might be surprised to see what the respective workers are wearing on their feet these days. Classy casual, you might call it.

Do I personally care what people are wearing? Well, I'm flattered you asked. The answer is a simple, No, I don't really care. I think the bigger issue here is the comfort of the wearer, especially for those on their feet all day. I believe a soft sole makes for a strong back A little taste would be in order, too: Make sure if you take the runner route that they are clean, neat, and matching.

I would also suggest that athletes and wannabe-athletes keep their footwear on at all times: There is nothing as repulsive as smelly feet that have been "runnerized."

This column would be confusing if one our American friends read it. You see, they understand the word runner, and the other word runner, but not this word "runner." They call that casual footwear "sneakers." Keep that in mind next time you are at Wal-Mart in Great Falls. Who knows, if you ask you for their selection on runners, they might send you to garden department.

One thing I haven't discussed is the price. I am shocked when I find out from my students paid for their latest pair of togs. I can get a meal at the Golden Corral in Great Falls for a family of eleven with what they paid for two pieces of slick footwear.

So, in fifty years, we have shifted from a simple set of runners that served in a useful capacity to a serious (and expensive) fashion statement. Runners have taken on a life of their own, namely, they are a reflection of the definite casual approach we have adopted as a dress code for our culture. Add to the mix blue jeans, open neck shirts (how can you tell a male is writing this column?), along with a tieless, suitless, and hatless wardrobe, and you have the man of the 'oh-oh' decade.

I personally wear runners (sneakers, for you Montaniacs) as often as possible - though, I must admit, that my favourite footwear is flip-flops (known as 'thongs' when we all still loved Lucy.) To date, however, I have never found a nice pair of dress pants and matching tie that go along with red flip-flops.

Runners. It seems you can wear them anywhere and everywhere. But that makes me ask the following question: If a runner wears runners, who wears sneakers?