Someone has defined a hockey game as an event where thousands of people, who need the exercise, sit on their duffs watching forty who don't. That's actually a modified football joke, but hockey is king (and queen) these days, so no other sport joke works here.
There is nothing so Canadianesque (my word) as ice hockey, at any level. It is a metaphor for everything that is vital about our nation, in at least six ways: 1. action; 2. camaraderie; 3. suspense; 4. multiculturalism; 5. history; and 6. romance.
1. Action. I don't know if there is more action on the ice or in the stands. On the ice, it is obviously a brutal game, what with elbows in the face, slashes in the shin, and the odd dust-up in the crease, also known as the not-OK Corral. And the chants in the crowd, the 50-50 draw, and the free pizzas add to the action in the stands. Did I mention the wave and the balloon-batting contest?
2. Camaraderie. Again, I struggle to distinguish between the good times on the ice and those throughout the arena. The teamwork and the playmaking are only part of the show. How about the athleticism of the the goalie? Wow! And when I lived in Kamloops, I spent more time connecting with friends at Riverside Coliseum than I did probably anywhere else in that fair city. It was a veritable "who's-who" between periods. (In my case, it was usually a simple "who's you?")
3. Suspense. I say 'suspense' and you think overtime, penalty kill, and shootout. I agree, but what I am actually thinking about is the quickest way to the restroom, not spilling my coffee on the head of the guy in front of me, and making sure I don't get hit by an errant puck. I am too suspensed (my word) about all the beer-guzzling doorknobs to worry about someone else's power play. And line change means one thing to a player, but another thing to a guy waiting in line to order fries
4. Multiculturalism. Isn't multiculturalism great? Okay, "adequate" might be a better word. Check out the names on the backs of any jersey at the major junior level. Gone are the days when it was just "Tom," "Dick," and "Harry." At a recent game the other day, I saw all sorts of nations represented by a wide variety of surnames. I bet there's even the odd Irish name among them.
5. History. I am sick and tired of people, mostly students, whining about Canada's lame history. Some bad instruction (teachers) and some bad attitudes (students) possibly contribute to that misconception. Now, with the watered-down history books that are flooding (no pun intended) the classroom – and thus re-working and revising Canada's wonderful past - I can partly agree.
But over the years, with real textbooks and real writers (eg., Pierre Berton), nothing could be further from the truth. The hockey connection? You can follow Canada's very colourful past, through every hamlet across our country, by investigating its hockey history.
6. Romance. Well, maybe I'm stretching this point, but everyone seems so affectionate after a goal is scored. That's just the Canadian way, isn't it? Hugs for the guys on the ice, finger taps for those on the bench, and a restrained touch for the goalie. Next thing you know, they'll be holding gloves. In football, they do goofy, mindless dances in the end zone, and in soccer, they take off their shirts, while sliding on their knees. At least here in our country there is still some vestige of British restraint. A good old-fashioned hug and head knock seems to be very nicely affectionate.
What else is so Canadian about ice hockey, especially at the major junior level? Again, let me count the ways: Freedom of speech: "That was a goal!"; "Cream him!"; and "Are you blind, ref?". Strangers talking to strangers: There are people in a mall or a store that I would likely pass by, but at a hockey game I can talk up a blue streak because of our common interest in (or against) a particular player or team.
I have never played much ice hockey much in my life. My experience in the rink could be summed up with the words of one main penalty: delay of the game. It takes me so long to go from one end to the other, that by the time I would make it to the other team's blueline, it would be halfway through the first period.
Nevertheless, the game means much to me. And every time I see anything to do with hockey I swell up with red-and-white, maple-leaf-forever, moose-and-beaver Canadian pride. I cannot think of anything that represents who we are as a culture more than ice hockey.
Unless it is dancing to "Y-M-C-A" in the stands. And that would be with my shirt on.
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