Foremost on my Mind: Promises, Promises, Promises

 
Hello? Oh, is that you, Maurice? Good to hear your voice again (sure beats spilling the beans over coffee, face-to-face). What's that? No, I was mumbling to myself about spilling coffee on my face...
 
Have I heard of the election? What election? No, just kidding. It seems I am bombarded everyday from every corner of the political spectrum with promises, polls, and platitudes. What's that—you're thinking of voting for Michael “I've-had-enough”? You're not serious, are you? Maurice, I think you've been watching too many Flames games these days, and coming to the same faint conclusions.
 
In fact, there's a parallel there: In both cases, I believe when the big day comes, they will both be on the outside looking in.
 
Maurice, just a word to wise (or at least to the wishful): Where has Mr. Ignatieff spent the better part of of his working career? (Hint: The initials start with “U” and end in “A.” Here's another one: It doesn't rhyme with C-A-N-A-D-A.) You must wonder where his loyalities lie, don't you? I don't doubt he has some good points, but I do doubt he represents the best interests of everyday Canadians (which would be commoners like you and me, Maurice).
 
You know, if you ask me, and I'm sure you wouldn't, Mr. “I've-had-enough” should run for senate—the US senate. He is likely far more familiar with their system than ours, having spent years and years outside of Canada.
 
What's that? Now, you want to know what I think of Gilles “Deception”? Well, very simply, Maurice, when a party has one main plank in its platform, that is weak. And when that one plank is the break-up of the nation through the emergence of a sovereign state within that existing nation, that is sad. And dangerous. I'm thinking he represents a small yet vocal minority in Canada, almost like a glorified lobby group.
 
That's all we need—another minority representation.
 
Actually, Maurice, I think it's great to be a bilingual country. And I sincerely believe we should acknowledge our French heritage. To be sure, I struggle with French being crammed down our throat as students and educators, as consumers and bureaucrats, but—as I have said repeatedly here before—that's fodder for another column. The second language out West, in a very practical sense, should be German; further west, in certain parts of BC, it should be Punjabi.
 
But I digress. Mr. Duceppe has no substance, no concrete plans, and no means whereby he can offer most Canadians anything. The best (or is it worst?) he can do is help form a coaltion with the Liberals. Therefore, even in a moment of weakness, do not vote for a separatist. I would rather you not vote at all, if that was the case.
 
I know, I know, Maurice, you're thinking I left out the, uh, left. (Well, I did discuss Ignatieff and Duceppe, didn't I?) Jack Layton is one of many NDP'ers who is articulate and likeable, but he's leading the wrong party. That would be “wrong,” as in the wrong side of center; and “wrong,” as in the wrong side of what's best for Canada.
The New Democratic Party always makes the best leaders of the opposition—yet the they have the worst record when in power. Just for the record, some of the erstwhile premiers include Bob Rae (ON), Dave Barrett (BC), and Gary Doer (MB).
 
So, Maurice, thanks for phoning. I don't know if you wanted (or even needed) an earful on this upcoming election, but you got it anyway. Tell your friends that every vote counts. And tell them that they should examine the leader's policies long before an election is called. You see, by the time they hit the hustings, leaders are more than willing to promise anything to get themselves (re-)elected.
 
Promises, promises, promises. One may promise the moon, but then only deliver moondust. Watch out for politicians of every stripe that make out-of-the-world guarantees. Vote for a party with a consistently honourable track record, both at home and abroad.
 
Well, I guess that leaves just one reasonable option to govern the country well for the next few years, so long as people are wise enough to vote in a majority. And by the way, that party's name doesn't rhyme with G-R-E-E-N.